Hi! My name is Maria and I am 10 and I'm in 5th grade. I live in Arizona with my mom and my dad and my little brother Matthew (he's 5) and my hamster Peanut (he's 1, and he's the one at the top of the page).

Here is why I made this. Grown-ups say a LOT of things that don't mean what they sound like. Like when my mom says "We'll see," it SOUNDS like maybe. But it is not maybe. So I started writing them down in a notebook last summer, and now I have 40, and I decided kids need a dictionary. Grown-ups have a dictionary. Why not us?

Every word has what it really means, an example from my real life, and How Sure I Am, because some of them I am 100% sure and some of them I'm still working on.

IMPORTANT: My mom and dad are really nice and they read this page and they said it's okay. They even wrote their own part, it's at the bottom. (They said it's "only fair." See F. Oh wait, I don't have an F yet.)

"Act your age."
What it REALLY means: Act like the age THEY think you should be, which is about 30.
Example: I was being a dinosaur at Matthew's birthday party, because he asked me to. Mom said, "Maria, act your age." I am 10. Ten-year-olds can be dinosaurs. I asked around.
How Sure I Am: 80%

"Are you wearing THAT?"
What it REALLY means: Go change. They won't SAY go change. But it means go change.
Example: My purple shorts with my orange sunflower shirt. I changed the shirt. I still think it was a good outfit.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Ask your father."
What it REALLY means: Mom doesn't want to be the one who says no, so she is letting Dad do it.
Example: I asked Mom if I could get my ears pierced. She said ask your father. Dad said ask your mother. See G.
How Sure I Am: 90%

"Be careful."
What it REALLY means: I am going to watch you the whole time and say "be careful" a bunch more times.
Example: Climbing the tree in Grandma's yard. I heard "be careful" six times. I counted. I was careful. I'm always careful.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Because I said so."
What it REALLY means: The reason is a secret, OR there isn't a reason, OR it's a really good reason but they're too tired to explain it.
Example: "Why can't I have a sleepover on a school night?" "Because I said so." Later Dad told me the real reason, which is that last time nobody slept, especially Mom.
How Sure I Am: 75%. Sometimes there's a good reason and they just don't feel like saying it.

"Clean your room."
What it REALLY means: Clean your room AND under the bed AND the closet. They will check the closet.
Example: I cleaned my room in ten minutes. Mom opened the closet. Everything fell out. I cleaned my room again.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Close the door! Were you born in a barn?"
What it REALLY means: You are letting the air conditioning out.
Example: Every single day in July. P.S. I was born in a hospital. I still have the little bracelet.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Do you think money grows on trees?"
What it REALLY means: No.
Example: I asked for roller skates with lights in the wheels. Dad said this. We have a lemon tree in the back yard, and I checked, and it only grows lemons.
How Sure I Am: 95%

"Don't make me come up there."
What it REALLY means: They are not coming up there. But they COULD. So be quiet anyway.
Example: Me and my cousin giggling at 11 o'clock at night. Dad said it from the bottom of the stairs. We stopped giggling for about four minutes.
How Sure I Am: 60%, because one time he really did come up there.

"Don't use that tone with me."
What it REALLY means: You said it in a voice. Say it again in a different voice.
Example: Me: "FINE." Mom: "Don't use that tone with me." Me: "...fine." (That one worked.)
How Sure I Am: 90%

"Eat three more bites."
What it REALLY means: They are counting, and they mean REAL bites, not crumbs.
Example: Squash. I took three bites so tiny Dad said they didn't count, so I had to take three more. Tip: take normal bites the first time. Lesson learned.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Go ask your mother."
What it REALLY means: See "Ask your father." It's a circle. You can go around it all day.
Example: The ears again. I went back and forth four times. Then they both said no at the exact same time, which was kind of impressive.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Go play outside."
What it REALLY means: The grown-ups need it quiet for a while. (In Arizona in summer this only works before 10 in the morning or after the sun goes down.)
Example: Saturday mornings when Mom and Dad read the newspaper.
How Sure I Am: 85%

"Hold still."
What it REALLY means: This is going to take a while. (Usually braids, or sunscreen.)
Example: Mom doing my hair for picture day. It is IMPOSSIBLE to hold still when somebody is pulling your hair. Scientists should study this.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"How many times do I have to tell you?"
What it REALLY means: This is not a real question. Do not answer it. I tried to answer it one time (I said "three?") and it did not go well.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"I don't care who started it."
What it REALLY means: You're both in trouble, even if it was really Matthew.
Example: It was really Matthew.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"I'm not going to tell you again."
What it REALLY means: They're going to tell you again. But the next time is the LAST time, and it's louder.
Example: "Maria, feed Peanut." (I was going to!) "Maria, feed Peanut. I'm not going to tell you again." "MARIA." I fed Peanut.
How Sure I Am: 99%

"In a minute."
What it REALLY means: Twenty minutes. Sometimes an hour. One time it meant next Tuesday.
Example: "Mom, can you help me with my diorama?" "In a minute." I timed it on my watch. Twenty-three minutes.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"It's a dry heat."
What it REALLY means: It is 112 degrees outside, but grown-ups in Arizona have to say this to visitors so they won't feel bad.
Example: My aunt from Ohio came to visit in June. Dad said, "Well, it's a dry heat!" She said, "So is an oven." I like my aunt.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Just five more minutes."
What it REALLY means: When a grown-up says it about THEIR stuff, it means the same as "In a minute." (See I.)
Example: Dad watching the Diamondbacks. Five more minutes was the 8th inning AND the 9th inning.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Keep your voice down."
What it REALLY means: You are louder than you think you are. (I am never as loud as they think I am.)
Example: The library. Church. The car, when Matthew is asleep.
How Sure I Am: 70%

"Let me think about it."
What it REALLY means: MAYBE! This is the best one on the whole list. It's way better than "We'll see." It means there's a real chance.
Example: I asked if I could have a hamster. Mom said let me think about it. Two weeks later I had Peanut!!
How Sure I Am: 50%, but it's a GOOD 50%.

"Look with your eyes, not your hands."
What it REALLY means: Don't touch anything. We are in a store with glass stuff.
Example: The Christmas ornament store at the mall. Matthew looked with his hands. We left.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Maybe when you're older."
What it REALLY means: Not now, and they hope you'll forget. (I won't forget.)
Example: The ears AGAIN. I asked how much older. Mom said "Older." That is not a number.
How Sure I Am: 90%

"My house, my rules."
What it REALLY means: You cannot win this one. Go do something else.
Example: I said my friend gets to have dessert before dinner at her house. Mom said, "That's her house. My house, my rules." I went and did something else.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Not now, honey."
What it REALLY means: The grown-up is on the phone. Or reading. Or on the computer (my mom is on the computer a LOT since she got e-mail).
Example: Every time the phone rings, that is exactly when I have the most important question of the whole day. I don't know how that works.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Not in the house!"
What it REALLY means: Whatever you're doing (throwing, bouncing, running, playing catch), go do it outside.
Example: Volleyball with a balloon. It was a BALLOON. Still not in the house.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Okay, last one."
What it REALLY means: Two more. Sometimes three.
Example: Tickle fights with Dad. "Okay, last one" means about four more. This is one of the good ones.
How Sure I Am: 95%

"Put a jacket on, I'm cold."
What it REALLY means: Mom is cold, so you must be cold too.
Example: January, when it's 60 degrees. Mom wears a coat AND gloves. I wear shorts. I'm FINE.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Quiet down back there."
What it REALLY means: The grown-up who is driving is trying to find the right exit.
Example: Driving to Grandma's. When Dad turns the radio down, I know we're lost. ("We are NOT lost," says Dad.)
How Sure I Am: 85%

"Say thank you."
What it REALLY means: Say thank you even if the present is socks. ESPECIALLY if it's socks.
Example: Socks from my great-aunt for my birthday. I said thank you. They were actually nice socks. They have cats on them.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Shh, this is the important part."
What it REALLY means: The grown-up is watching the news. On the news it is ALWAYS the important part.
Example: Last week it was the hurricane, which was really far away from here, but Dad watched every single minute of it.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"That's a very interesting drawing."
What it REALLY means: They can't tell what it is. Tell them BEFORE they guess!
Example: I drew Peanut. Dad said, "That's a very interesting drawing. Is it a potato?" It was Peanut. (Okay, Peanut does look a little bit like a potato.)
How Sure I Am: 90%

"Turn that down."
What it REALLY means: The music is too loud, unless it's a song the grown-up likes.
Example: Mom said turn that down. It was Ricky Martin. Then she sang along to the whole entire song.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"We'll see."
What it REALLY means: No. They just don't want to argue about it right now.
Example: "Can we get a pool?" "We'll see." We have lived in this house since I was six. We still don't have a pool. We have a sprinkler.
How Sure I Am: 95%

"We're almost there."
What it REALLY means: We are not almost there.
Example: Driving to the Grand Canyon. Dad said "We're almost there" five times. It was two more hours. But then we got there and it was so big I forgot to be mad.
How Sure I Am: 100% (that we're NOT)

"When I was your age..."
What it REALLY means: A story is coming. Get comfortable. It will have a lot of walking in it, or no air conditioning, or a TV with only a few channels.
Example: Dad, about once a week. He had to get up and turn a knob to change the channel. Honestly, I think that's kind of funny.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"Who wants to help me in the yard?"
What it REALLY means: You are helping in the yard. It's not really a question.
Example: Saturday. I said "Not me!" I helped in the yard.
How Sure I Am: 100%

"You'll thank me someday."
What it REALLY means: Today is not the day.
Example: Piano lessons. I'm still waiting to thank her. (Okay, maybe a tiny bit. I can play two whole songs now with both hands.)
How Sure I Am: 60%

"You'll understand when you have kids."
What it REALLY means: They can't explain it. You have to grow up first.
Example: I asked Mom why she gets so happy when the house is quiet. She said I'll understand when I have kids. I said I'm going to have three kids and a pool. She laughed really, really hard.
How Sure I Am: 50%

Back to the letters

"I'm not tired."
I am so tired I'm about to fall asleep sitting up in the bathtub.

"I already did it."
I am about to do it, the second you stop looking at me.

"It was like that when I got here."
It was not like that when I got here.

"Nothing." (in answer to "What are you doing in there?")
Something that's going to need paper towels.

"I'm starving." (twenty minutes after dinner)
I would like a snack, and I would like it to not be fruit.

"Everybody else gets to."
One girl in my class gets to, and her mom is still thinking about it.

"I'll do it later."
See "In a minute." (I wonder where she learned that one.)

"Can I ask you something?"
I am going to ask you something you already said no to, in a nicer voice.

"I brushed my teeth."
The toothbrush is dry. Go back.

"I love you, Mommy."
This one means exactly what it says. Usually. Sometimes it also means "Can we stop for ice cream." Either way, it works every time.

A note from Mom: Maria made this whole page herself, including the letter links, which took her an entire Saturday and a great deal of sighing. We are very proud of her. As for the pool: we'll see.