I'm at Dad's this weekend. I have TWO things to report.

Thing 1: MADISON SMILED AT ME!!! A real smile, not a gas one. (Kristen says the early ones are sometimes just gas. Gross.) I was making faces and going "Hi Madison, hi Madison" in a squeaky voice, and she looked RIGHT at me and smiled with her whole mouth. Dad said that's the first real one anybody has seen! And it was ME!!! She's six weeks old now. She has a pink outfit that says "Daddy's Little Girl" on it which, excuse me, I was here first. (Just kidding. Mostly.)

Thing 2: Tonight after Madison went to sleep, Dad knocked on the office door and said "Bri, grab your jacket." We went out in the backyard, just us two. The moon was HUGE and orange, coming up over the neighbor's garage. Dad said it's called the harvest moon, because in the old days farmers could keep working in their fields at night by it. We sat on the back steps and he said, "I know it's been a lot, kiddo." And I didn't say anything for a while, and then I told him. About my room being the baby's room, and the poster, and the pool. (See August 22.)

And he didn't say "next time." He said, "You're right. I'm sorry." Then he said we are going to paint the office PURPLE and get a real bed in there, and it's going to be MY room again. So I have a room at Dad's again, sort of, and it is going to be purple!!!

We sat out there until I got cold. The moon got smaller and whiter as it went up. Dad said it only looks smaller, it doesn't really shrink.

I'm typing this on Dad's computer in my (future purple) room. Rick is coming to Sunday dinner at Mom's next week. I'm still not sure about him. But I'm getting more sure about some things.

WE FOUND HIM!!!!!!!!!! AND I HAVE MY BEST FRIEND BACK!!!!!

OK, in order:

This morning the sunflower seed in the laundry room was GONE. All the other seeds were still there. So we knew he was in the laundry room! But we couldn't find him, and I had to go to school.

On the bus I was so sad I didn't even look out the window. And Ashley came and sat down next to me. She didn't say anything about the fight. She said, "My mom said Pickles got out." (Our moms talk.) I said yes and started crying ON THE BUS, which is the worst place in the world to cry. She gave me a tissue that had been in her pocket a while. Then she said, "Can I come help look after school?"

So she did! We lay on the laundry room floor with flashlights for like an hour. And ASHLEY found him. He was in the basket of clean towels, all the way at the bottom, curled up in a ball, sound asleep, with his cheeks stuffed full of sunflower seeds. He wasn't even sorry!!!

I put him back in his cage and checked the latch five times. Then Ashley and I sat on my bed and I said sorry about the Texas thing, and she said sorry about the mall and about the baby thing. And then I told her about my room at Dad's being Madison's room now. I never told anybody that. She said, "That stinks." That is exactly what it does.

Then we ate Popsicles and wrote each other notes with gel pens. Mine was purple. Hers was glitter green.

Courtney is still nice. I guess we can all three sit together. Maybe.

PICKLES IS GONE!!!!!!!

When I got up this morning his cage door was open. I DID NOT LEAVE IT OPEN. (Okay. I fed him last night and maybe I didn't push the little latch all the way. Maybe.)

We looked EVERYWHERE. Under my bed, in my closet, behind the dryer, in every single shoe. Mom looked under the stove with a flashlight. I missed the bus and Mom had to drive me, and I cried in the car, and she said, "Hamsters are escape artists, honey. He's hiding somewhere warm, eating something he shouldn't."

Mom called the pet store on her lunch break. The man said to put one sunflower seed in the middle of every room and see which one disappears in the morning, and then you know what room he's in. So tonight we did that. Eight seeds in eight rooms. Mom also made a trap with a bucket and a towel in the bottom and a piece of apple, with a ramp made out of my old picture books going up the side. The man said sometimes they climb in and then they can't climb out.

I can't sleep. What if he's inside the wall? What if he's cold?

If you pray, please pray for Pickles. He's small.

Ashley and I had a fight. A big one.

Here is what happened. Last Saturday I was at Dad's, and Ashley went to the mall with Courtney and Courtney's mom. They got matching butterfly clips. I didn't even know until Monday when they both came to school wearing them.

Ashley said, "Well, you were at your dad's." Which, okay, I was. But she could have ASKED. She could have picked a different day. Then she said, "You're always at your dad's anyway." I am NOT always at my dad's. It's every OTHER weekend. She knows the schedule. It's on her FRIDGE.

Then today on the bus I said, "Maybe you should just be best friends with Courtney, then." And she said, "Maybe you should stop talking about your dad's baby every single second." And I said, "Maybe you should stop saying y'all like you're from Texas." (She's not from Texas. Courtney is.)

We didn't talk the whole rest of the bus. At lunch she sat at the end with Courtney, and I sat with some girls from science who are nice but I didn't know what to say to them.

I came home and cried on my bed, and Pickles watched me from his little house with his cheeks full.

Do I really talk about Madison that much? I don't think I talk about her THAT much. Maybe I do. I don't talk about the other stuff (see August 22), so maybe it all comes out as baby stuff.

Today is 9/9/99!!! Mom says that's a lucky date. Here's why it was lucky:

Mom got me HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN!!! It came out yesterday, and she went to the bookstore on her lunch and got it and put it on my pillow with a sticky note that said "For my favorite reader." I stayed up until 10:30 reading with a flashlight. (Mom knows. She pretends she doesn't.) I'm on chapter 7. NO SPOILERS if you e-mail me!!!

Also Rick came to dinner tonight. He brought me a Beanie Baby!!! It's Pinky the flamingo. He said, "I heard they're retiring, so I figured I better grab one while I can." That was actually really nice. Pinky is pink (duh) and has long floppy legs. I put her next to Princess on my shelf.

But after dinner he sat down in the big blue chair in the living room. That was Dad's chair. Nobody sits in it. Mom kind of looked at me and I looked at the TV.

I did say thank you for Pinky. I said it nice.

Pickles ran on his wheel the whole time we were eating. SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK. Rick said, "Somebody's got places to be." Okay, that was a little funny.

Today was the Labor Day cookout at Aunt Tina's, and RICK CAME.

Things about Rick:
~ He is tall and he has a mustache like a hairbrush.
~ He drives a pickup truck with a dent in the door.
~ He brought potato salad that he made HIMSELF, and Aunt Tina said it was "surprisingly good."
~ He has a dog named Duke, and he brought Duke, and Duke ate a whole hot dog off my cousin's plate.
~ He calls me "Bri."

That last one is the problem. Only Mom and Dad and Ashley call me Bri. I didn't say anything. I just said "It's BRIANNA" in my head really loud.

He tried really hard, though. He asked what I'm reading (Harry Potter, the second one, again) and he said he'd heard of it, which, everybody has heard of it. He asked about Pickles and remembered his name.

Mom laughed a lot today. Like a LOT. Like her old laugh from before the divorce. That was nice to hear, and also it made my stomach hurt, and I don't know why it did both.

Driving home Mom said, "So what did you think of Rick?" I said, "He's okay." She said, "Just okay?" I said, "The potato salad was good." She laughed again.

I'm not sure. I'm just not sure yet. Is that allowed?

EMERGENCY!!! Ty is RETIRING ALL THE BEANIE BABIES!!! Every single one, on December 31st!!! It was on the news last night. I have 23 Beanie Babies and my favorite is Princess, the purple bear, because PURPLE. Ashley says they'll all be worth a million dollars. Mom says, "Or they'll be worth exactly what they are now, which is a bean bag you love." Mom is no fun. (Mom is a little fun.)

Middle school, day 3: I can open my locker on the first try now. Almost. I also got lost looking for the library and ended up in the 8th grade hall, and it was like on a nature show when the little animal wanders into where the lions are. I walked VERY fast.

FIRST DAY OF MIDDLE SCHOOL!!! Here is my report:

~ My locker would NOT open. I did the combination like ten times. Right, left, right. Then a 7th grader showed me you have to go all the way around PAST the first number once. It opened!!! Thank you, 7th grader. I will never forget you.
~ We change classes SEVEN times. The bell is so loud it makes your teeth buzz.
~ Ashley is in three of my classes AND my lunch!!! She traded me her Doritos for my grapes, which is not a fair trade for her, but she did it anyway because she's my best friend.
~ There's a new girl named Courtney. She's from Texas and she says "y'all." She sat with us. She's nice I guess.
~ We have homework. ON THE FIRST DAY. Mean!!!

Mom made spaghetti and asked me about a million questions. Then she said "a friend from work" might come to the Labor Day cookout at Aunt Tina's. His name is Rick. I have heard Mom laughing on the phone at night lately. I have my eye on this situation.

I'm back at Mom's. I have to write this down but I don't know how to say it right.

At Dad's house I used to have my own room. It had a purple bedspread and my Backstreet Boys poster and a lamp shaped like a moon. Now it's Madison's room. It has a white crib and a changing table and a rocking chair, and my bedspread is folded up on the futon in Dad's office, and that's where I slept all week. My poster is still up in the baby room. Kristen asked if I wanted to take it down. I said no. Now I think maybe yes.

Also, all week everybody who came over (Grandma Carol, Kristen's sisters, the neighbors, a man from Dad's work) went "OHHH, she's so BEAUTIFUL," and then looked at me and said "And how old are YOU now?" Eleven. I have been eleven for four months. Nobody asked me anything else.

On Saturday Dad was going to take me to the pool, just us, the last Saturday of summer. But Madison had a doctor thing and Kristen was too tired to go by herself, so we didn't go. Dad said, "Next time, Bri, I promise." That's what he said about the pool in July, too.

I know Madison can't help it. She's a BABY. I love her already, I really do. I just feel like I'm standing outside a window watching a family, and I can't find the door.

Mom picked me up and we got Dairy Queen and I didn't say any of this. I said "It was good." Then I came home and held Pickles for a long time. (Carefully.)

I HELD HER!!!!

At first I was scared because she is SO little and her head is kind of wobbly. Kristen showed me how. You sit on the couch with a pillow under your arm and you make your elbow like a little bed for her head. Then Dad put her in my arms and she was warm and heavier than you would think, and she smelled like baby shampoo and milk.

She has a LOT of black hair, like a tiny wig. Her hands are the smallest hands in the entire world. She grabbed my finger and would NOT let go! Dad took a picture. When it comes back from the drugstore I'm going to put it in a frame on my dresser at Mom's.

She yawned and her whole face did it. Then she fell asleep ON ME. Kristen said, "She knows you." I don't know if that's true but I liked it.

Other stuff at Dad's: we had tacos, I watched Rugrats, and Madison cried from 2 to 3 in the morning and I heard it through the wall. Babies are LOUD. Dad looks really tired. He has a spit-up spot on his shoulder that he doesn't even know about. I didn't tell him. :)

I'M A BIG SISTER!!!

Dad called at 7:15 this morning when I was still in my pajamas. He said "Bri, you have a sister!" and his voice was all wobbly, like when you laugh and cry at the same time.

Her name is MADISON. She was born last night, August 12, at 11:48 p.m., which is almost the 13th. She weighs 7 pounds 6 ounces. I asked what that is in hamsters and Dad laughed and said "A lot of hamsters."

Today is Friday the 13th, which is supposed to be bad luck, but I think it's good luck now.

Mom was nice about it. She said, "Congratulations, big sister," and hugged me. Then she went in the bathroom for a while with the water running. I'm not dumb. I know what that means.

I go to Dad's on Sunday for a whole week. I get to HOLD HER!!! Kristen says I can help give her a bath. I have to wash my hands a lot and not have a cold. I don't have a cold. I checked.

Things I am going to teach Madison:
1. How to do a cartwheel
2. All the words to "I Want It That Way"
3. Never EVER touch Pickles without asking

Me!	Brianna, 11. 6th grade. Purple is my color.
Mom	The best, most of the time. Says wise things. Works at a dentist's office.
Dad	Lives about 20 minutes away. Makes the best pancakes. Owes me a trip to the pool.
Kristen	My stepmom. She's nice. It's weird to say "stepmom."
Madison	My baby sister!!! Born 8/12/99. Smiled at ME first.
Pickles	My teddy bear hamster. Golden and fluffy. Escape artist. (There's no hamster in the clip art library. I looked. Twice.)
Ashley	My best friend since 2nd grade. Found Pickles!!!
Courtney	New girl from Texas. Says "y'all." Nice I guess.
Rick	Mom's "friend from work." Potato salad. Dog named Duke. I'm not sure yet.
Aunt Tina	Mom's sister. Makes the best brownies in Illinois.
Grandma Carol	Dad's mom. Calls everybody "sweet pea."

Want to know when I write more?
E-mail me with NOTIFY in the subject!!!
Thank you to everybody who wrote when Pickles was lost!!! A lady in Florida told me her hamster once lived inside a couch for three days. Pickles says hi.

If you know me from school, PLEASE don't tell anybody about this page. Pinky swear!!!