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MY MORPHS
If Elfangor showed up in my backyard tonight, here's what I'd acquire.

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I thought about this A LOT. My friends Antonio and Jonathan and I spent a whole recess on it and then the whole bus ride home. These are in order from most important to least important. I live in Washington so most of them are animals that live around here, because you have to be able to find the animal to touch it. That's the part people forget.

# MORPH WHY
1PEREGRINE FALCONThe fastest animal in the whole world. When it dives it goes over 200 miles an hour. That's faster than our car, and our car is not that fast, but still. I'd get the DNA at the raptor show at the fair where the man lets you get close.
2ORCAKiller whales live right here in Puget Sound. They're actually the biggest kind of dolphin, which most people don't know. Nothing in the ocean messes with an orca. Getting the DNA is the hard part. I'd need a boat and a lot of nerve.
3GRIZZLY BEARFor battles. I know Rachel has one, there's room for two. There are a few grizzlies way up in the North Cascades but you'd never find one, so I'd use the zoo, like Marco did with his gorilla.
4RUSTY (my dog)Jake has a dog morph and it's one of the most useful ones, because nobody ever thinks a dog is spying on them. Plus a dog's nose is incredible. Rusty sleeps on my feet every night so the DNA part is easy. He'd be fine with it.
5COUGARThey live in the woods around here and almost nobody ever sees one. That's the point. Silent and sneaky and can jump really far.
6BATBats see with sound. They make noises too high for people to hear and listen to the echoes. In the dark you'd know where everything is. Also it would be cool to hang upside down and not get a headache.
7MOUNTAIN GOATWe saw them in the Olympic Mountains on vacation, walking up cliffs like it was nothing. For escaping. Yeerks can't climb that.
8BALD EAGLERachel has this one too. I don't care. They're all over by the rivers here in the winter and they're the national bird.
9RIVER OTTERNot for fighting. For FUN. Otters slide down mud banks on their stomachs just because they want to. That's my kind of animal.
10HOUSE CATFor Saturdays. Lie in the sun on the porch for two hours (NOT two hours and one minute) and nobody asks you to clean your room.

THE NO-BUGS RULE

I will NEVER morph a bug. Not a cockroach. Not an ant. Not a fly. Not a termite. My teacher says spiders aren't technically insects, they're arachnids, but spiders are on the list anyway because of the legs.

Here's why:

1. The instincts. When you morph you get the animal's brain too. A bug brain doesn't think. It just does bug stuff. You'd be trapped in there with no way to make it stop.

2. The size. Anybody could step on you. Your little brother could step on you. A BIRD could eat you. Tobias could eat you and he wouldn't even know.

3. The books. Every time somebody in the books turns into a bug, something terrible almost happens. I'm not going to say which books because of spoilers, but when you read the ant part, you will understand my rule. I had to sleep with the hall light on.

4. Cockroaches especially. Do I really have to explain this one?

EXCEPTIONS TO THE NO-BUGS RULE: NONE.
Antonio says a fly would be good for spying. Antonio can be the fly.

ALSO NOT ON MY LIST
Salmon. Everything in Washington wants to eat a salmon, including bears, eagles, orcas and my dad.
Skunk. You'd be safe, but nobody would sit with you at lunch for a week.
A human. In the books you can, but it's wrong to take somebody's DNA without asking, and the Animorphs all agree on that. (Ax's human morph is mixed together from Jake, Rachel, Cassie and Marco, which is why he looks like nobody and everybody.)

What's YOUR first morph? E-mail me and I'll put the best ones up here. (If you say cockroach I will not put it up.)

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Last updated Monday, September 20, 1999