Every month at least one woman writes to ask how to get started. Usually she's forty-something, usually somebody told her she couldn't, and usually she's already made up her mind. Good. Here's what I know. I'm not an instructor and this isn't a substitute for one. It's what seven years and a lot of mistakes taught me.

Before you buy a bike. Before you buy a jacket. Before your brother-in-law offers to "show you in the cul-de-sac." A weekend beginner rider course is a few hours in a classroom and the rest out on a practice range, on small motorcycles they provide, with real instructors who have seen every mistake you're about to make. You'll learn the clutch, the brakes, swerving, emergency stops, and how to turn by looking where you want to go. Call around to the community colleges and the bike dealers; they'll know where the courses are held. Sign up early in the fall, because when the weather turns nice in Phoenix, every class fills.

Half our members took the course. The other half wish they had. I dropped the practice bike twice. That's what the practice bikes are for.

• Feet flat. Sit on it. If you can't get both feet down on the ground, or at least the balls of both feet, keep looking. You will be stopping at a lot of lights.
• Smaller than you think. Kim Black, our youngest, started last year on a used 250 and moved up to a Honda 750 this spring. That's the right order. Nobody ever crashed because her first bike was too small.
• Used is fine. You will probably drop it at least once in a parking lot. Better to drop a bike with a few scratches already.
• Bring a rider with you when you go to buy. Any Lilac will come along. We love spending other people's money.

Here's the thing nobody believes until they try it: in the desert, covering up keeps you cooler than stripping down. Bare skin at 60 miles an hour in 110 degrees is like standing in front of a convection oven. It dries you out faster than you can drink, and then you get stupid, and then you get hurt. So:

• Helmet. Full-face protects your face and your eyes from bugs, gravel and sun. A three-quarter with a good shield is the next best thing. Get it fitted at a shop. It should be snug, not painful.
• Mesh jacket with armor in the shoulders and elbows, for summer. It flows air and it still protects you if you go down. A leather jacket for winter and the mountains.
• Long pants. Heavy jeans at the very least. The exhaust pipe on most bikes is right next to your leg, and it does not care that it's July.
• Boots that cover your ankles. Not sneakers, not sandals. Bobbi, who's a firefighter, has a short speech about sandals that she will give you whether you ask or not.
• Gloves. Always. Your hands are the first thing that hits the ground.
• Water. More than you think. Drink before you're thirsty. A water backpack with a tube is the best twenty dollars I ever spent on this hobby. Stop every hour in summer, even if you feel fine.
• The wet trick. Soak a bandana or a cotton T-shirt under your jacket with water before you ride. As it dries in the wind, it cools you like a swamp cooler. Re-soak at every stop. Unzip your vents. This works as long as the air is dry, which in Phoenix is most of the year.
• Sunscreen on your neck, your nose and the backs of your hands if you ever ride gloveless, which you shouldn't.
• Know the signs. Headache, dizziness, cramps, nausea, or you stop sweating: get off the bike, get in the shade, drink, and tell somebody. Heat exhaustion can become heatstroke, and heatstroke is a 911 call.

The left hand does the talking, because the right one is on the throttle. Learn these before your first group ride. I'll quiz you at the gas station.

• Staggered formation. On a straight road, the leader rides in the left third of the lane, the next rider in the right third, the next in the left, and so on. Stay about one second behind the rider diagonally ahead of you and two seconds behind the one directly in front, in your own track. Each of you gets the whole width of your third to work with.
• Single file in curves, on bad pavement, and anywhere you need room to move. When the leader signals it, everybody does it.
• Hold your spot. Don't pass inside the group, don't swap positions, and if you need to leave, signal and let the sweep know.
• Newest riders ride right behind the leader, where the pace is smoothest. The sweep rides last and stays with anyone who drops back.
• Ride your own ride. The group is not a reason to run a yellow light. If you get cut off at a light, the leader will pull over and wait. We always do.
• At stops, pull in together, park together, and don't leave until the leader does a head count. I count every time. I've miscounted twice. Both times it was Nora, who was in the restroom.

You'll drop it. Everybody does, usually at a standstill, usually in a parking lot, usually in front of a man who has a lot to say about it. Don't panic, don't strain your back, and don't let him help unless you ask. A 550-pound motorcycle can be stood up by a 130-pound woman. I've watched Gloria do it at 67. Here's how:

1. Turn off the engine with the kill switch and the key. Gas can leak when a bike is on its side.
2. Put it in gear so it won't roll.
3. If it fell on its right side, reach over and put the kickstand down first, so it has something to land on when it comes up.
4. Turn around and put your back against the seat, your bottom low against it.
5. Grab the handlebar grip (turned all the way toward the tank) with one hand, and a solid piece of the frame or the rear grab rail with the other.
6. Walk it up with your legs. Small backward steps, back straight, legs doing all the work. Not your arms. Not your back.
7. When it's upright, don't push it over the other way. That's the one everybody does once. Get the kickstand down and breathe.

Practice it once in your garage with a friend on the other side, on purpose, before you ever have to do it for real. Bring a blanket to lay the bike on. Your mirrors will thank you.

And that's it. Take the course, cover up, drink water, look where you want to go, and come ride with us. You won't be the oldest one there, and you won't be the newest for long.