By DAY, I am Rhoda Tibbs, 42, office manager at Pruitt Brothers Heating & Air here in Memphis, Tennessee. I am in charge of the phones, the copier, the coffee, and three grown men who cannot find the stapler when it is sitting on their own desk.

By TUESDAY NIGHT, I am... still Rhoda Tibbs. But with a microphone. And a pink sequin top I bought at a church rummage sale for four dollars that catches the light like a disco ball having the best night of its life.

I have never been paid to sing. I have been asked to stop singing once, but that was a fire drill.

Every queen has a rival. Mine is named Sharon. I will not print her last name because I am a lady and because she is a dental hygienist and she cleans my teeth in November.

Every single Tuesday, at about 10:15, Sharon gets up and does "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor. Every single Tuesday, the whole bar sings along and Sharon gets a standing ovation. She points at the ceiling on "go on now, go." She has choreography. She has a fan. The fan is her sister but still.

Sharon, if you are reading this: you are very good and I hate it. See you Tuesday. Please be gentle with the floss.

Earl is my husband of 19 years. Earl claps for me like he is trying to put out a fire with his bare hands. He has clapped for me 94 Tuesdays in a row. He once clapped all the way through the piano part at the start of "Crazy" before I even opened my mouth, just in case. He has never once given me less than five stars, including the night the microphone cord came unplugged and nobody heard anything. He said that was my best one. I married the right man.

• Tuesdays attended: 94
• Standing ovations: 1 (it was a birthday party and they were already standing)
• Times I forgot the words, even though they are RIGHT THERE on the TV: 11
• Awards: 3rd place, Dottie's Labor Day Sing-Off (out of 3)
• Pictures: Earl took a whole roll. It is still at the drugstore. I am in no hurry.

Coming soon: my fall set list. Rumor has it Rhoda is attempting "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Pray for Rhoda.