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THE WHISKER WEEKLY BACK ISSUES Sept. 19 · Sept. 12 · Sept. 5 · THIS WEEK'S ISSUE Older issues were knocked off the desk. We are looking into it. |
| VOL. 1, NO. 21 · SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 1999 |
Rain Hits Windows Sideways All Day Thursday; Birds AWOL By OTIS, Editor-in-Chief, reporting from under the bed It rained on the windows SIDEWAYS from morning until night on Thursday. The Tall One watched the television a great deal and said the storm's name was Floyd. This newspaper asks: who names a storm Floyd? Who names a storm at all? Staff does not name the vacuum. Staff calls it what it is. Not one bird came to the feeder all day. Pudding sat at the side window for six hours and saw nothing but water. The Dog Next Door did not appear at his window either, which this newspaper considers the only good news of the week. SUNBEAM FORECAST: Thursday: cancelled. Friday: one beam at 4 p.m. on the kitchen floor, wet-looking but warm. 3 PAWS, for effort. SPORTS: Hallway races called off Thursday night. All three staff spent the night together in the bedroom closet (not the Beast closet). Pudding asked us to print that he was "not scared, just resting." Wednesday's race was also called off when the Tall One woke up. Week: Pudding 4, Otis 1, Mabel 0, no contest 2. Season: Pudding 84, Otis 30, Mabel 18, no contest 8. DEAR MABEL: Dear Mabel, The Tall One is home and she will not stop petting me during the storm. How do I make it stop? —Damp in the Den. Dear Damp, Let her. She is scared too. This one time. —M. HAIR-TIE TALLY: Batted under the refrigerator this week: 3 (Pudding 2, Otis 1, Mabel 0). Rescued: 0. The yardstick is behind the dryer and nobody has told her. Season: 48 batted, 34 rescued, 14 still under there. |
| VOL. 1, NO. 20 · SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 1999 |
Experts Baffled; Lap Availability Up 300 Percent By MABEL, Special Correspondent On Monday morning the Tall One did not put on her work shoes. She did not take her keys. She made pancakes, sat on the couch, and STAYED there. This columnist has learned that the day is called "Labor Day," and that it is a holiday for people who go to work, so that they can stay home and not go to work. Staff was not consulted. The results were remarkable. One lap, available all day. Otis took the morning shift. This columnist took the afternoon. Pudding attempted to take both, at the same time, as Pudding does. On Tuesday she went back to work. Normal service has resumed. SUNBEAM FORECAST: Steady all week. Living room rug, noon to 2:00. Late beam on the Tall One's side of the bed after 3. 4 PAWS. SPORTS: A perfect week for racing, every night. Pudding 5, Otis 1, Mabel 1. Pudding would like the record to show he won five. Season: Pudding 80, Otis 29, Mabel 18, no contest 6. DEAR MABEL: Dear Mabel, Is it true that the Tall One talks about us at her work? —Curious on the Counter. Dear Curious, Yes. Constantly. They are very lucky. Also, get off the counter. —M. HAIR-TIE TALLY: Batted under: 5 (Pudding 3, Otis 1, Mabel 1). Rescued Saturday with the yardstick: 9, plus two bottle caps and a raisin, origin unknown. Season: 45 batted, 34 rescued, 11 still under there. |
| VOL. 1, NO. 19 · SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 1999 |
Contents: Paper Towels. Box: EXCELLENT. By PUDDING, Sports Editor, filling in on news A BIG BROWN BOX came to the front door on Wednesday!!! The Tall One opened it with the special knife and took out TWELVE ROLLS OF PAPER TOWELS, which are boring, and then she put the box on the floor, which was NOT boring, and I got in it, and I have been in it most of the time since then! It is the best box this house has ever had! It has a flap!! Otis says it is not news. It is news to ME!!! ALSO: ONE YEAR AGO THIS WEEK the Tall One brought me home from the shelter in a cardboard carrier with holes in it. Otis was against it. The Editor would like it known that he is still against it. The Editor also lets me sleep against his back when it is cold, but he said not to print that, so I am printing it in very small letters: he is very warm. SUNBEAM FORECAST: Hot, sunny, long beams. Living room rug, 12:30 to 2:00, but the rug gets too hot by 1:45. Move to the cool tile at that time. 4 PAWS. SPORTS: Pudding 3, Otis 2, Mabel 1, no contest 1 (Saturday, the Tall One said "GUYS"). Otis won twice because I was in my box. Season: Pudding 75, Otis 28, Mabel 17, no contest 6. DEAR MABEL: Dear Mabel, The new kid has a box and he won't share. —Boxless and Bigger. Dear Bigger, You do not fit in the box, Otis. Nobody has the heart to tell you. Now somebody has. —M. HAIR-TIE TALLY: Batted under: 2 (Pudding 2). Rescued: 0. Season: 40 batted, 25 rescued, 15 still under there. The Tall One has noticed she is "running low on hair ties." Staff has no idea what she means. |
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READ THIS WEEK'S ISSUE Tips, letters and dog sightings: [email protected] Last updated Sunday, September 26, 1999 |