How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One. She proves that a solution exists and leaves the actual changing as an exercise for the reader.
100 watts

How many mechanical engineers does it take?
Two. One to change it, and one to explain that it was really an electrical problem all along.
75 watts (the MEs down the hall wrote the EE one on page one as revenge)

How many meteorologists does it take?
There's a 60 percent chance of one.
100 watts

How many nurses does it take?
One, and she'll have it done while the doctor is still looking for the ladder.
100 watts (my mom is a nurse and she requested this one)

How many optometrists does it take?
Is it better like this? ...Or like this? ...Like this? ...Or this?
100 watts

How many physicists does it take?
One, but first he assumes a perfectly spherical bulb in a vacuum. Which, to be fair, it mostly is.
100 watts

How many pilots does it take?
One, after he runs through the pre-change checklist. Twice.
60 watts

How many professors does it take?
None. That's what graduate students are for.
75 watts

How many real estate agents does it take?
One. But first she lists the dark room as "cozy, with lots of potential."
100 watts

How many statisticians does it take?
Between one and three, 95 percent of the time.
100 watts, plus or minus 15

How many systems administrators does it take?
One, but not until Saturday at 2 a.m., when nobody is using the lights.
75 watts

How many tech support people does it take?
One. But first: is the lamp plugged in? ...It isn't, is it?
100 watts

How many umpires does it take?
None. He's already called it bright. Go sit down.
60 watts

How many waitresses does it take?
One, and she'll be right with you, hon.
75 watts

How many webmasters does it take?
One, but the lamp will have an UNDER CONSTRUCTION sign on it for six months.
100 watts. Guilty.

How many Y2K programmers does it take?
One, and he'll change it at 11:59 p.m. on December 31st.
75 watts

How many zookeepers does it take?
Two. One to change it, and one to keep the monkey from running off with the new one.
60 watts. It's hard to find a Z.

These came in by e-mail. Thanks, everybody. Keep them coming.

How many database administrators does it take?
One, as soon as you fill out a change request in triplicate and get it signed by three managers.
sent by Michael, Greensboro, NC · 75 watts

How many kindergarten teachers does it take?
One, but first everybody has to sit on the rug with their hands in their laps and watch quietly.
sent by Elizabeth, Cary, NC, who taught kindergarten for 30 years · 75 watts

How many church choir directors does it take?
One, but the altos will come in late.
sent by Suzanne, Chapel Hill, NC, who is an alto · 75 watts

How many guitar players does it take?
One, but first he has to tune it. And then tune it again.
sent by Jacob, Durham, NC · 60 watts

How many grandmothers does it take?
One, and she'll tell you the bulbs were better when she was a girl and lasted forty years.
sent by Nora, Wilmington, NC, who says hers really did · 60 watts