After my brain injury, my memory for new things stopped working the way it used to. My therapist, Ms. McCloskey, said: "Then we'll build you one outside your head." This page is how I did it. People in my support group asked me to write it down, so I did. Twice.

This is what works for me. Your brain injury is different from mine, so please work out your own system with your therapist. Take this page to her and say, "Something like this."

The short version: the Palm tells me WHEN. The notebook tells me WHAT HAPPENED. I use both every day. I'll explain why at the end.

The book. A small six-ring planner, about the size of a paperback, in a black zipper case. It fits in the left cargo pocket of my khakis. It is always in the left cargo pocket, or in the blue bowl by the front door. Nowhere else. I'm on my fourth one since 1996.

The tabs. Nine colored tabs, in this order. The order never changes.

Terri gave me a Palm III for Christmas 1998. It is about the size of a deck of cards and runs on two AAA batteries. I was afraid I couldn't learn it. It took me about two weeks, with the instruction book open on the kitchen table and Terri answering the same questions more than once. Here is how I set mine up, program by program.

Date Book. Every appointment goes in, with an alarm set for 15 minutes before. That is the most important part: it beeps. My notebook can't beep. Things that happen every week or every month (work, the support group on the first Tuesday) are set to repeat, so I only had to put them in once. I set the alarm sound to the loudest one.

To Do List. I use it for short things with a due date, like "pay power bill" or "Terri's birthday card." I sort them into three categories: Home, Work and Errands. I set it to show the due dates, so I can see what's late. The longer list stays in my notebook.

Address Book. Every phone number, and in the note for each person, the same information as my PEOPLE tab: where I know them from and what they look like. If I'm at the library and someone says hello, I can look them up in my pocket.

Memo Pad. My favorite. Some of my memos:

• WHERE I PARKED (when Terri and I go somewhere and I drive the short way)
• THINGS I LENT (books, a drill, a casserole dish)
• QUESTIONS FOR DR. LANHAM
• GIFT IDEAS FOR TERRI (very important)
• MOVIES I'VE ALREADY SEEN (so I stop renting the same ones)

HotSync every night. Before bed, I put the Palm in its cradle and press the button, and it copies everything onto our home computer. If I lose the Palm, or the batteries die, nothing is lost. I have lost it once, in the couch, for two days. Nothing was lost but my temper.

Graffiti. That's the special alphabet you write on the Palm with the stylus. It's a little different from regular printing. I kept the cheat sheet sticker on the back for the first month. Now I don't need it most days.

Batteries. Two spare AAA batteries live in the blue bowl by the door. When the battery warning comes up, I change them that day. Not tomorrow.

Why both? The Palm reminds me. It beeps at the right time and it holds a lot in a small space. The notebook is where I think and where I keep track of what happened. Writing by hand also helps me remember a little better. I'll say it again: the Palm tells me WHEN. The notebook tells me WHAT HAPPENED. Before the Palm, my alarm watch did the beeping. I still wear the watch, as a backup for the backup.

My rules:

1. One book. Not a book and some sticky notes and the back of an envelope. One book.
2. Same place, always. Left cargo pocket, or the blue bowl.
3. Write it down NOW. Not in a minute. In a minute it's gone.
4. Check it when the alarm goes off. 8, 12, 3, 5 and 9.
5. If it's not in the book, it didn't happen. Terri and I agreed on this, and it has ended a lot of arguments.
6. Review every night with somebody you trust. Fill out tomorrow.
7. Back it up. HotSync the Palm every night. Photocopy the PEOPLE, HOW-TO and MEDICAL tabs once a month.
8. Give it time. It took me about three months before checking the book was a habit and not a chore. Ms. McCloskey said that was normal. She said it twice.

If you're setting up a memory book for yourself or someone you love, and you'd like to ask me something, write me at [email protected]. I'll put you in my CALLS tab and I will write back.