On Mom's kitchen table, next to the sugar bowl, there's a fat blue three-ring binder with tabs. It's the most important thing in her house after Mom. Everybody who helps her knows where it is: Leona, the Committee, Mrs. Kinser, Bernard, the home health nurse, and the ambulance crew, who have used it twice. I keep a copy at my house in Columbus, and Randy has the first two sections in Texas.

Here's what's in it, as a checklist. Print it out, put it in a binder, and fill it in a section at a time. It took me three weekends to do Mom's. Update it every visit. A notebook with last year's medicines in it is worse than no notebook.

TAB 1: IN AN EMERGENCY (the first page anybody sees)

[  ] Full name, birth date, address
[  ] Her diagnoses, in plain words (Mom's: congestive heart failure, diabetes)
[  ] Allergies to medicines
[  ] Which hospital she wants to go to
[  ] Who to call, in order, with their phone numbers: me, Barry, Randy, Leona
[  ] Her doctors' names and numbers
[  ] Where the health care power of attorney and living will are (copies are in the front pocket of the binder)
[  ] A note: "Take this notebook to the hospital with her."

TAB 2: MEDICINES

[  ] Every medicine she takes, prescription or not, including vitamins
[  ] For each one: the name, the dose, what it's for, what time of day, which doctor ordered it, and when she started it
[  ] Her pharmacy's name and number
[  ] A list of medicines she's stopped, and why
[  ] Once a year, put every bottle in the house in a grocery sack and take it to the doctor. Ask, "Should she still be taking all of these?"

TAB 3: DAILY LOG (kept on the kitchen table, filled in by Mom)

[  ] A page a day with lines for her blood sugar readings and the times
[  ] A line for the scale. Her heart doctor wants it checked every morning, because a quick gain can mean fluid building up. He told her which change means call him that day, and it's written at the top of the page.
[  ] Swollen ankles? Short of breath? Check yes or no.
[  ] Medicines taken: check boxes for morning, noon, supper and bedtime
[  ] How she slept, how she ate, and anything else she wants to say. (Mom's comments are sometimes directed at me. I deserve most of them.)

TAB 4: DOCTORS AND APPOINTMENTS

[  ] A calendar with every appointment for the next three months
[  ] A page for each appointment: questions to ask (written ahead of time), and what the doctor said (written right there in the office)
[  ] Who's driving her
[  ] Test results, if the doctor will give you copies (ask; they usually will)
[  ] Hospital discharge papers

TAB 5: HELP AND SERVICES

[  ] Area Agency on Aging: name of the person you talked to and the number
[  ] Meals on Wheels: days, time, driver's name
[  ] Medical alarm company: number, account number, and how to test the button
[  ] Care manager, home health agency, aide: names, numbers, schedule
[  ] Neighbor with the key
[  ] Church friends and her pastor
[  ] Handyman, plumber, the man who plows the driveway, the boy who mows
[  ] Her hairdresser (do not underestimate the hairdresser; she sees Mom every week and notices everything)

TAB 6: INSURANCE

[  ] Copies of the Medicare card and any supplemental policy card, front and back
[  ] The supplemental policy's phone number and what it covers
[  ] A folder for Medicare statements and bills, with "paid" and the date written on each one (Randy's department)

TAB 7: WHERE THE PAPERS ARE (just the locations, not the papers)

[  ] Health care power of attorney
[  ] Living will
[  ] Financial power of attorney
[  ] Will, and the lawyer's name
[  ] Deed to the house
[  ] Bank accounts and who's on them
[  ] Safe deposit box, and where the key is
[  ] Life insurance policies
[  ] Cemetery plot and her wishes for the service. Yes, ask. She'll have opinions. Mom's has the hymns picked out.

TAB 8: THE HOSPITAL BAG (packed and in the hall closet)

[  ] Nightgown, robe, slippers with rubber soles
[  ] Glasses and a spare pair, hearing aid and batteries
[  ] A copy of the medicine list and of Tab 1
[  ] A little money for the vending machine, and a roll of quarters for the pay phone
[  ] Her crossword book and a pen

TAB 9: THE HOUSE

[  ] Where the water shutoff and the fuse box are
[  ] When the furnace was last serviced
[  ] Smoke detector batteries (change them every fall)
[  ] Spare key locations (and who has one)

This one's taped inside the front cover. I go down it every Saturday morning while Mom's having her coffee.

[  ] Refill the weekly pill organizer, and count what's left in the bottles
[  ] Read the daily log for the last two weeks
[  ] Check the refrigerator for spoiled food and the cabinets for groceries
[  ] Sort the mail. Pay or set aside the bills. Throw away the sweepstakes.
[  ] Test the alarm button (call the company first and tell them it's a test)
[  ] Walk the house for things to trip on: throw rugs, cords, shoes on the stairs
[  ] Check the porch steps and the railing
[  ] Light bulbs out? Smoke detector chirping?
[  ] Laundry and clean sheets
[  ] Talk to Leona over the fence
[  ] Write down questions for the next doctor visit
[  ] Update the medicine list if anything changed
[  ] Sit down with Mom and do something that isn't a chore. A crossword. A soap opera. A walk to the mailbox. This is the one that matters.