These are all the shotgun cases that went to the Court since the rules took effect on June 6. I wrote down the facts as fairly as I could, including the ones where I lose. Mom read every one and corrected two of them, and now they're accurate, according to Mom. When a case says "Opinion of the Court," that's what Mom actually said, as close as I could remember it in the car.

Jump to: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Facts: At bedtime, Jamie stood in the upstairs hall and called shotgun for the next morning's trip to Grandma's. He said it three times to make sure, and then once more through my door.

Ruling: Void under Rule 4. Also void under Rule 17. Also void because it was a quarter to ten.

Opinion of the Court: "Go to sleep."

Facts: I was at the kitchen sink rinsing my cereal bowl. Through the window over the sink I could see the van in the driveway, and I could see Mom walking toward it with the keys. Article I, Section 1 was satisfied. I called shotgun. Jeffrey was on the porch tying his shoe, and he called it about two seconds after me.

Question: If you can see the car through a window, and the trip is actually happening, does it matter where your feet are?

Ruling: Yes. Void under Rule 3. Shotgun to Jeffrey.

Opinion of the Court: "If you can see the van from the sink, you can see the dishes in the sink." (I then did the dishes, which were not mine.)

Note from me: I wrote Rule 3 myself. I'm putting this case first among the ones I lost, because rules have to apply to the person who wrote them, or they're not really rules, they're just things you say.

Facts: That same morning, as we pulled into Grandma's driveway, Jeffrey called shotgun for the trip home. He had been doing this all summer. Six hours later, when everybody was outside with the leftovers, I called it for the trip home. Jeffrey said his call was first. Technically, it was.

Question: Can you call the trip home while you're still on the trip there?

Ruling: No. Under Rule 12 they're two trips, and under Rule 4 you can't call a trip that isn't happening yet. Shotgun to me. The Court then passed Amendment I so this never comes up again.

Opinion of the Court: "You can't call it for a trip we haven't started, from a trip we haven't finished." Mom was proud of that one. She said it twice.

Also: Somewhere in the middle of the argument Mom asked whether we wanted her to turn this car around, and Jamie said, "We're in Grandma's driveway, where would we go?" The Court found him in contempt, and he sat on the hump.

Facts: We were going up to Grandma's for the Fourth and staying over. Mom packed the big cooler with potato salad, two dozen deviled eggs and a whole watermelon, and with all the suitcases it wouldn't fit in the back. So she put it in the front seat and buckled it in. Then she said, "Everybody in the back."

Question: Can a cooler have shotgun?

Ruling: Under Rule 22, yes. Nothing in Rule 22 says the thing in the front seat has to be a person.

Opinion of the Court: "The cooler doesn't argue."

Note from me: The cooler did not read the map, did not watch for the exit, and did not hand back any snacks, even though it was full of them. It broke every part of Rule 13. We missed our exit by eleven miles. Mom says we didn't miss it, we "took the long way," and the Court's ruling on that is also final.

Facts: Coming home from the Fourth. All three of us were on Grandma's porch, all three of us could see the van, Mom had the keys out, and all three of us said it at the exact same time. Grandma said it was "a beautiful harmony."

Ruling: At the time there was no tie rule. The Court ruled from the porch that the tie went to whoever had carried the most stuff to the van. I had carried the cooler, empty. Shotgun to me.

Note from me: The cooler that took my seat on the way there won me my seat on the way home. I think about this a lot.

What happened next: Mom said she was not going to judge any more ties as long as she lived, and six days later we passed Amendment III.

Facts: Buster (our dog) had to go to the vet for his shots, and I was going along to hold him. When Mom opened the van, Buster jumped straight into the front seat and sat there like a person. I called shotgun right after.

Question: Does the Body Rule (Rule 7) protect a dog who was in the seat first?

Ruling: No. The Body Rule applies to people. Shotgun to me. Buster rode in the middle row with his head out the window, which honestly he liked better.

Opinion of the Court: "Buster, down."

Facts: Jamie called shotgun first, legally, which was a big moment for him. Under Rule 17 the seat went to Jeffrey, who called it second. About twenty minutes down the road, Jamie announced that he was carsick and needed to sit up front, "for the fresh air."

Evidence: Jamie was not pale. Jamie had just finished an entire bag of Funyuns. When Mom asked how he was feeling, he asked if there were any more Funyuns.

Ruling: Not carsick. Under Rule 18, Jamie lost his choice of seat for the next three trips. Also, the Court noted that being carsick wouldn't have gotten him around the Air Bag Rule anyway.

Opinion of the Court: "Carsick people don't ask for seconds."

Dissent (Jamie): "I was a little carsick. Like a medium amount."

Facts: Jeffrey was driving Tracy and me to the pool in the Buick. I was outside, I could see the car, Jeffrey had the keys, and I called it, perfectly. Jeffrey used his Driver's Veto and gave the seat to Tracy. I appealed to the Court, which was in the kitchen.

Ruling: The veto stands under Rules 6 and 10. Mom said, "It's his car," and kept unloading the dishwasher.

Note from me: When I got back outside, Tracy said I could have the front if I wanted. I said no thank you. The Code is the Code. Also the Buick's one working speaker is in the back, so I actually got the better seat.

Facts: Jamie turns 13 in October, which is when Rule 17 stops applying to him. He came to my room with a shoebox and offered me every Pokémon card he has two of, in exchange for me not calling shotgun on any trip from his birthday until Christmas. He had a contract written out on notebook paper. It had a place for both of us to sign and a place for a witness.

Question: Can you buy shotgun ahead of time?

Ruling: No. Void under Rule 16 (no sales) and Rule 4 (no calling ahead), and also because a deal to not call shotgun is still a deal about shotgun. Jamie keeps his cards.

Opinion of the Court: "Nobody is signing anything. And Jamie, that was a very nice contract."

Note from me: For the record, I wasn't going to take the deal. I don't collect Pokémon. Jeffrey said he'd have taken it in a second, which is why Jamie came to me first.

Facts: It was pouring. Under Article I, Section 3, you have to be outside to call it, so all three of us were standing in the driveway in the rain, getting soaked, waiting for Mom to come out with the keys so the trip would be "actually happening." Mom came out, saw us, and said that was the dumbest thing she'd seen all year.

Ruling: The Court passed Amendment V on the spot: in the rain, the first person to touch the van's front door handle gets shotgun. The amendment applied right away, under the Court's rule about that. Jamie touched the handle first (Rule 17, so it went to whoever touched it second). Jeffrey touched it second. I was third, because I'd gone back inside for an umbrella, which was the smart thing to do and got me nothing.

On the way home: Grandma came home with us to stay for a week, so Rule 8 applied, and none of us had to call anything. It was the quietest three hours of the summer. Mom said it was "what the whole summer could have been."