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Things My Computer Thought I Said
Speech recognition bloopers, collected since 1995. All real. All caught before they went out, except where noted.
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| What I said |
What it typed |
| Insert into customers | Insert in two costumers |
| Hi Mom, I'm eating better | Hi Mom, I'm eating butter |
| Please call me back at your convenience | Please call me back at your convenience store |
| The query runs every night | The quarry runs every night |
| Sincerely, Adam | Sincerely, atom |
| Microsoft Access | Micro soft excess |
| I'll fax it Thursday | Aisle facts it Thursday |
| The dental office wants a new report | The mental office wants a new report |
| My wheelchair is in the shop | My we'll chair is in the shop |
| Foreign key | For in key |
| The feed store's invoices are overdue | The feet store's in voices are overdue |
| Let's meet for lunch | Let's meat for lunch |
Not words at all
| What happened |
What it typed |
| I sneezed | Chew |
| I cleared my throat | Hum |
| The neighbor's dog barked | Of |
| The air conditioner came on | And the in the of and |
| I laughed at the line above | Ha ha who |
The ones that got out
In 1996, a status report to a client ended with the words "do you want a grilled cheese." My mother had come in to ask me about lunch, and DragonDictate was listening. The client wrote back, "Yes, please." We've worked together ever since. One Sunday I said "wake up" to the program. My brother Daniel, asleep on the couch through a ballgame, woke up instead. The computer didn't. During one bad head cold, "my nose is stuffed up" came out as "Myrna's is stuffed up." I don't know a Myrna. I sent it to my brother anyway.
Send me yours, from any speech program: [email protected]. Keep them clean. My mother reads this page.
Back to Hands-Free · Last updated September 18, 1999
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