10. Leftover the Meatloaf
9. Static the Sock That Came Out of the Dryer Alone
8. Pothole the Philadelphia Street (comes with a hubcap)
7. Soggy the Cereal You Forgot About
6. Mildew the Bath Mat
5. Busy Signal the Dial-Up Connection
4. Sal the Guy Who Never Uses His Turn Signal
3. Monday the Bear
2. Snuggles the Tax Audit
1. Priceless the Beanie Baby, who's only worth anything if nobody ever touches it... hold on, that's all of them.

10. "Who brought the potato salad, and why is it warm?"
9. "Don't touch the grill. That's Uncle Reggie's grill. Nobody touches Uncle Reggie's grill."
8. "I did not boo McNabb at the draft. I was booing the price of the hot dogs."
7. "The kids go back to school when? Tomorrow? Thank you, Lord."
6. "Somebody pass the soft pretzels before your cousin gets them all."
5. "We need more ice, more chairs, and a nephew to go get them."
4. "Is that Aunt Denise's Y2K kit, or is that just her trunk?"
3. "Who invited the bees?"
2. "Put on 'Summertime'! No, the Jazzy Jeff one! Is there another one?"
1. "Labor Day? I'm not doing any labor. Scoot over, that's my spot on the couch."

10. Sofachu. A yellow couch. Never evolves. Doesn't want to.
9. Laundromon. Its only attack is Static Cling.
8. Mondaysaur. Evolves into Tuesdaysaur. Nobody gets excited.
7. Parkingtoad. It is always in your spot.
6. Budgetite. The only one Mom will buy.
5. Humiditoad. Only appears in Philadelphia in August.
4. Snoozle. Learns Hit the Snooze Button at level 6.
3. Potholemon. Can swallow a Buick.
2. Momchamp. Her slogan: Gotta Clean 'Em All.
1. Rerunachu. You've seen it before, and you're watching it anyway.

10. "Hold still. Or don't. It's all the same to me."
9. "My cousin usually does this part."
8. "Don't worry, it'll grow back by Thanksgiving."
7. "You wanted it even? Oh. Even."
6. "Do the new clippers have to be plugged in, or...?"
5. "I'm going to try something I saw on the Discovery Channel."
4. "How little is 'a little off the top'? Like, in inches?"
3. "Whoa."
2. "So, have you ever thought about hats?"
1. "Okay. How attached are you to your left eyebrow?"

10. The soft pretzels are softer than usual.
9. The water ice truck has groupies.
8. The fire hydrant on our block gets more visitors than the Liberty Bell.
7. Tourists running up the Art Museum steps are stopping at the halfway point to lie down.
6. You can cook a cheesesteak on the hood of a Buick. Uncle Reggie tried. Don't ask.
5. People are riding the SEPTA bus to the end of the line and back just to sit in the air conditioning.
4. I'm fanning myself with the Daily News and it's not helping and the ink is coming off on my hand.
3. The couch and I have agreed to see other people until October.
2. My mom turned the air conditioner up a notch and said, "Don't tell your father."
1. Philly fans stopped booing. Nobody has the energy.