We're eight guys on the fourth floor of a college dorm who got Half-Life for Christmas (or bought it with Christmas money, or borrowed it from the guy who bought it with Christmas money). The dorm has Ethernet in every room, so our pings are embarrassingly low and we have no excuses when we lose. We found that out the hard way.

We play straight deathmatch, free for all or teamplay, on our floor's LAN and out on the Internet against anybody who'll have us. Frag limit 50, crowbar kills count double in the bragging, not on the scoreboard.

Our RA knows about us. Our RA is in us. That's how we got away with the airstrike incident.

4 on 4 teamplay unless it says otherwise. First team to 50.

9/19  vs [HEV] on boot_camp — 50-41, us. Hornet gauss-jumped onto the roof and nobody could find him for five minutes.
9/12  vs [HEV] on crossfire — 50-46, us. Close. Too close.
8/29  vs BMRF on stalkyard — 38-50, them. We were missing Gluon and Snark (both still home for the summer on 28.8s, we didn't make them play).
8/22  vs Clan Xen on datacore — 50-29, us
8/15  vs Clan Xen on bounce — 50-44, us. Bounce is chaos. We like chaos.

Matches have slowed down since the Counter-Strike thing started. See that whole situation.

If you've played crossfire you know about the big button that calls in the airstrike, and the bunker you have about ten seconds to get into before everything outside turns to fire. On our floor it has caused more fights than anything else in the game. So:

1. Whoever pushes the button has to yell it down the hall. Out loud. With your actual voice.
2. You may not push the button while three of your own team are standing out in the open. (This one is for you, Snark.)
3. No tripmines on the bunker door. We know it's funny. It's funny once.
4. If you get caught outside, you don't get to be mad. You heard the yelling.