DAVE'S OFFICIAL STATEMENT ON TITANIC

On Friday, Mom, Chris and I went to see Titanic, because Mom wanted to and Chris is home for break and she said it would be "a nice thing we all do together." Dad stayed home. Dad said "The boat sinks. I read about it."

It's three hours and fourteen minutes long. I know because I checked my watch a lot. Here is my official statement:

1. The boat sinks. This is not a spoiler. It's history. We did it in 6th grade.
2. The special effects are really good. When the back of the ship goes straight up in the air, that's the best special effect I've ever seen, maybe even better than the White House in Independence Day.
3. That is all I have to say about Titanic.

I did not cry. I had popcorn salt in my eye, which happens. Chris says he "heard a noise." Chris can't prove anything. Mom cried the most and said it was "a good cry," which is a thing grown-ups say.

The song is on the radio every 20 minutes now. When it comes on in the car, Mom turns it up and Dad turns it down. So far nobody has given up.

Christmas was good. Everybody was home. Mike brought The Pie (third year in a row). Chris gave me my own copy of the Foo Fighters CD because "you can't keep borrowing mine, it's embarrassing for both of us."

THE SECOND ANNUAL DAVEY AWARDS (1997)
Best Movie: Men in Black. (Not Titanic. Titanic was not considered.)
Best Game: GoldenEye 007
Best Space Thing: Comet Hale-Bopp, beating the Mars Pathfinder by a nose
Best Brother: Chris, for the Music Education. (Mike, you're still a legend. You can win next year.)
Worst Thing: The Flyers getting swept

Chris went back to college today. It's his senior year. He drove away honking the horn the whole way down the street, which he does every time. The neighbors hate it. I love it.

The house is really quiet tonight. I'm not going to write about that.

Yesterday morning Mom got up really early to watch Princess Diana's funeral on TV. I came down for cereal and ended up sitting with her for a while. Neither of us said anything. It was sad even for people who never met her, which was everybody on our couch.

Sophomore year started Wednesday. I know where the cafeteria is! I held the door for a freshman and he didn't call me sir, but I'm working on it.

Polar Pete's is open weekends until October, and as of Labor Day I make $5.15 an hour. Carmine said "It's the law. It's not because you're special." I'll take it.

Conversations with Spanish Class Girl: still 1. She's in my Spanish II class, two rows over. I haven't said anything. I never got my pencil back from March. I think about that pencil sometimes. It was a good pencil.

GOLDENEYE!!!!!!

I bought GoldenEye 007 on Monday, the day it came out, with my own water ice money. I handed the guy the money and felt about 30 years old.

Last night Jimmy, Ant, Greg and me had a sleepover at my house. (Greg came from the other middle school. We were lab partners in Biology freshman year and he named our frog Randall, after Randall Cunningham, so we've been friends ever since.) Everybody brought their own controller, and we played GoldenEye from 8 p.m. until 3 a.m., when Mom came down in her robe and said "Boys." Just "Boys." It was the scariest thing in the whole game.

HOUSE RULES FOR GOLDENEYE AT DAVE'S (taped to the TV)
1. No screen watching.
2. No Oddjob. He's too short to hit. Ant knows what he did.
3. Proximity mines only if everybody agrees.
4. Slappers Only is the best mode, and that's final.
5. The loser of each round goes to the kitchen for the Tastykakes.
6. The Facility is the best level. (This isn't a rule. It's a fact.)

Final standings, all night:
Greg: most kills. Says he'd "never played before." Liar.
Me: second. Respectable.
Jimmy: third. Looked at a lot of walls.
Ant: last. Without Oddjob he's nothing.

Around 11 Chris drove us up to Wawa for hoagies and paid for everybody's Krimpets, because he's the best, and because he leaves next week and I think he's being extra nice about it.

I HAVE A JOB!!!

I work at Polar Pete's, a water ice stand about a mile from our house, three afternoons a week and Saturdays. I got my working papers from school. I'm 15 and employed. I have a visor.

The owner is Carmine. Carmine is not Pete. There is no Pete. I asked Carmine who Pete was and he said "Don't worry about Pete." I don't worry about Pete.

What I do all day: I scoop water ice. My right arm is getting huge. By August I'm going to look like a fiddler crab. We get a lot of college kids from Rowan, which is a University now, which Dad says like it's family news.

Mike called Sunday and said "Always give people a little extra. They remember." Carmine says "Never give people a little extra. I remember." So I do what Carmine says at work and what Mike says everywhere else.

DAVE'S OFFICIAL RANKINGS: WATER ICE (a professional opinion)
1. Cherry-mango (the choice of champions, Mike, 1996)
2. Lemon. A classic. Never wrong.
3. Blue raspberry. Your tongue stays blue for two days.
4. Gelati with vanilla custard (half water ice, half custard, all good)
LAST. Chocolate. Chocolate water ice is just sad pudding.

Chris is home for the summer and he picks me up after my shift in his car, which has no air conditioning and one speaker that works. He's giving me what he calls a Music Education. His rule is: "You can't listen to Hootie forever." (I don't listen to Hootie that much.) (I listened to Hootie a lot.) So far we've done:

- Weezer, the blue one. "Say It Ain't So" is the best song ever made. Chris says I can't say that about every song. But this time it's true.
- Foo Fighters. "Monkey Wrench" with the windows down on Route 55.
- Smashing Pumpkins, "1979." Chris says it's about being 15. He's right.
- Green Day, Dookie. Chris bought it senior year of high school. Old, but it still works.
- Dave Matthews Band. Chris calls him "The Other Dave." I don't love the idea of another Dave. But he's good. He can stay.

Most nights we just drive around with the one speaker going. Best part of the summer. Don't tell Chris.

The Flyers got swept. Detroit won the Stanley Cup tonight. Four games, zero wins. Dad turned off the TV before they handed out the Cup and said "We don't need to see that." We didn't need to see that.

I really thought this was the year. The Legion of Doom! The last time the Flyers won the Cup was 1975, and Dad says he remembers it "like it was yesterday," and I said "Dad, that was 22 years ago," and he looked at me like I'd said something very rude.

I'm wearing my Flyers shirt to school Monday anyway. You're supposed to wear it more when they lose. That's the South Jersey rule. (Is it? It is now.)

Chris has been home since May and yelled at the TV more than Dad did, which I didn't think was possible.

One more week of freshman year. Freshman year was: I got lost, I found the cafeteria, I lent a pencil. I'm calling it a success.

I SAW A COMET!!!

After dinner Dad and I went out in the backyard with the binoculars from the hall closet and looked northwest over the neighbors' shed, and THERE IT WAS. Comet Hale-Bopp. You don't even need the binoculars. It's a fuzzy star with a tail, like somebody smudged it with their thumb. Dad said it won't be back for something like 2,500 years. I said "So this is it." He said "This is it." We stood out there a while, until Mom yelled that the back door was open and we were heating the whole outside.

ALSO: HISTORIC EVENT. Today in Spanish, the girl who sits in front of me (I'm calling her Spanish Class Girl, because I'm not putting her name on the INTERNET) turned around and said "¿Tienes un lápiz?" And I said "Sí." And I gave her my good pencil. And she said "Gracias." And I said "De nada."

That is a whole conversation. In a foreign language. With a girl. Señora is always telling us to use it in real life. I USED IT IN REAL LIFE.

CONVERSATIONS WITH SPANISH CLASS GIRL: 1

Jimmy says it doesn't count because it was "for school." It counts. New Year's Resolution #1 (talk to one new person): done in March.

STAR WARS IN THE THEATER!!!!!

Last night me, Jimmy, Ant AND DAD went to see Star Wars: Special Edition. Dad saw the original in 1977 and said he wanted to "see it on a big screen one more time," which is very dramatic for a movie. The theater was PACKED. People clapped when the music started. People clapped for everything. I clapped for everything.

What's new: more spaceships, more creatures, a scene with Jabba the Hutt, and a giant ring when the Death Star blows up.

BUT. In the cantina, Greedo shoots first now, and THEN Han shoots. Dad sat straight up in his seat. On the way home he explained for twenty minutes why this is wrong. Twenty minutes! Dad doesn't talk for twenty minutes about anything except the Eagles!

Dave's Official Rating: 10 out of 10.
Dad's Official Rating: "Nine. Because of Greedo."

Empire comes back in February and Jedi in March. Dad already said yes to both. Dad has never said yes that fast to anything.

WELCOME TO DAVE'S WORLD '97!!!

NEW LOOK!!! I redid the whole page over Christmas break. What do you think??? Here's what's new:

- TABLES!!! Every entry gets its own box now! At one point I had tables inside of tables inside of tables and the whole page turned into one skinny line. Chris said "That's modern art." I fixed it.
- CLOUDS!!! The background is clouds now. It's calmer. The stars were giving Mom a headache. (The old page is still up. Click here. Wear sunglasses.)
- The marquee is gone (rest in peace, marquee) and the construction guy is on break.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR 1997
1. Talk to one new person at school.
2. Get all 120 stars in Super Mario 64. (I have 94.)
3. Get a summer job and make my own money.
4. Learn to tie a tie.
5. Write in this journal more often than Mom reads it. (Impossible.)

Hi Mom.