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back to the main page ~ what is a viola ~
the alto clef ~ instrument care ~ the jokes ~
concert programs
so what IS a viola?
The question I get asked most, usually by grown-ups at concerts, usually in the tone of voice
you'd use for "what's that rash?" Here's the answer:
- A viola looks like a violin but it's bigger, and it's tuned lower, a fifth below
the violin and an octave above the cello.
- Its four strings are C, G, D and A. The violin has G, D, A and E. So the viola has the
violin's three lowest strings and one more on the bottom, the low C, which is the best string on
any instrument. I will not be taking questions.
- Violas aren't all one size like full-size violins are. They're measured by the length of the
body in inches, and most grown-ups play something between about 15 and 17 inches. Mine is 15 1/2.
Bigger sounds deeper, but it's harder to reach around, so you pick what fits your arms.
- Because it's bigger, it takes more weight in the bow to make a good sound. You can't just
skate across the top like on violin. You have to lean in. Mrs. Simonson calls it "sinking into the
string."
the alto clef isn't scary (I promise)
Viola music is written in the alto clef, which is the one that looks kind of like a
fancy B or a bracket with two curls. Almost nobody else uses it, which is why the band kids look
at our music like it's in Greek. It's actually really simple.
The big secret: the alto clef is a C clef. The point in the middle of it sits on the
middle line of the staff, and it means that line is middle C. That's it. Everything else
counts from there.
The lines, bottom to top: F A C E G
The spaces, bottom to top: G B D F
Our open strings:
~ A string: the space just above the top line
~ D string: the space just above the middle line
~ G string: the bottom space
~ C string: below the staff, in the space under the first ledger line
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Trick for violinists switching over: look at a note in alto clef, pretend it's treble
clef, and go up one letter. Bottom line in treble clef is E, in alto clef it's F. (It's
also an octave lower, but your hand figures that part out.) I used this trick for about two months
and then one day I just didn't need it anymore.
When the music goes really high, viola parts switch to treble clef so there aren't eight
ledger lines. So we read two clefs. Like I said: bilingual.
taking care of your instrument
Most of this I learned from Mr. Vath, who has been teaching for about a hundred years (he's 60)
and who has seen everything happen to an instrument that can happen.
| * | Wipe it down every time you play. Rosin dust builds up on the strings and the top and gets gummy. Use a soft cloth (I use an old cotton T-shirt), and keep it just for that. |
| * | Loosen your bow when you put it away. Every time. If you leave it tight the stick warps. And when you tighten it to play, don't crank it. The stick should still curve in toward the hair a little. |
| * | Don't touch the bow hair. The oil from your fingers makes it slippery and then the rosin won't grip. |
| * | Never leave it in the car. Not in summer, not in winter. Heat melts the glue that holds it together and cold can crack it. If you're stopping at the store on the way home, it comes in with you. |
| * | Watch the humidity. In winter, when the heat is on and the air is dry, wood shrinks and can crack. A humidifier tube that goes inside the f-hole helps. So does keeping it in the case and not next to the heater vent. |
| * | Check your bridge. When you tune, the strings slowly pull the top of the bridge toward the fingerboard. Every so often look at it from the side. It should stand up straight. If it's leaning, ask your teacher to show you how to ease it back. If it ever falls over, loosen the strings, put everything in the case, and take it to a repair shop, because the sound post inside might have fallen too. |
| * | Change your strings about once a year if you play a lot, and get your bow rehaired about once a year too. Old strings sound dull and won't stay in tune. |
| * | Close the latches. All of them. Every time. A girl at camp had her viola fall out of its case onto a parking lot because she zipped the cover and forgot the latches. It was fine. She was not. |
the jokes (my versions)
There are about a million viola jokes, and every violist has heard all of them, usually while
carrying a viola. They're old. Some of them are older than my grandparents. So I decided the only
thing to do is take the classics and tell them myself, with the endings fixed.
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The one about stealing. People say the safest place to keep your violin is in a viola case,
because no thief would ever take one of those. My version: My cousin, who plays violin, tried
this at camp with an old viola case. Nobody touched it for two weeks. Then a violist opened it,
saw a violin inside, and closed it again, out of pity.
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The one about the onion. The joke is that nobody cries when you chop up a viola.
My version: I would cry. Mr. Vath would cry. Mrs. Simonson would hunt you down. So that's
at least three people, which is more than would cry over a trumpet.
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The one about the doorstep. Why do violists stand around outside people's houses? Because
they can't find the key and they don't know when to come in. My version: We know exactly
when to come in. We're just waiting politely for the first violins to finish showing off.
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The one about range. The range of a viola is supposedly about thirty yards, if you kick it
hard enough. My version: The real range of a viola is from the C an octave below middle C
to as high as you dare, and the range of a trumpet player who says this joke to me is
about as far as I can chase him in concert shoes.
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The one about tuning. How long does it take to tune a viola section? Nobody knows, because
nobody's ever finished. My version: We take longer because we listen harder. Also because
our C strings take a minute. Also because Grant was talking about baseball.
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And now, the violas' revenge, which I wrote with Lacey (the cellos are our allies):
How can you tell a violin section is playing in tune? You can't, because the violas are right
next to them making them sound good. How many first violinists does it take to change a light
bulb? Just one, but he has to stand up and play a cadenza about it first. Okay, those need work.
I'm a violist, not a comedian.
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Last updated September 25, 1999
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