You'll hear these in your first week. Nobody will explain them. Keep this list in your snack drawer.
| When they say... | They mean... |
| Let's take this offline. | Please stop talking in this meeting. |
| Let's touch base. | I'm going to call you about nothing in particular. |
| Going forward... | From now on. But said in a tie. |
| I don't have the bandwidth. | No. |
| Action item | Your problem now. |
| Heads up! | Bad news is coming. Probably Friday. |
| Synergy | Two departments sharing one printer. |
| Think outside the box. | The box is your cube. You may not leave it. |
| Proactive | Doing it before anyone asks, which you will now be asked to do. |
| Empowered | You're doing it yourself from now on. |
| Low-hanging fruit | The easy stuff. Someone else already did it and took credit. |
| Face time | Being seen at your desk after 5:30. What you do there is optional. |
| Deliverables | Stuff. |
| Value-added | Now with a cover sheet. |
| Win-win | They win. Then they win again. |
| Paradigm shift | We moved the fax machine. |
| Casual Friday | Khakis. Only khakis. Nobody said anything about jeans, Donnie. |
| We're a family here. | Somebody's going to eat your yogurt. |
| At the end of the day... | A time we will not be seeing. |
| Got a sec? | Forty-five minutes. See the Drive-By, Chapter 2. |
| Per my last e-mail... | You didn't read my last e-mail. |
| Y2K compliant | We'll find out on January 3rd. |
Heard one I missed? Send it in and I'll add it, with your first name and your company's floor number (not its name, we all like our jobs).
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