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Field Notes Conversations overheard in the car, at the table and through the basement door, January to September 1999 Back to the Glossary |
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A scientist doesn't just write down the definitions. She goes out in the field and watches the animals in their natural habitat. My natural habitat is the driver's seat of a 1994 Taurus wagon, and the animals are my children and their friends, who forget I'm there as long as I don't turn the radio down. These are the notes, as close to word for word as I could get them, oldest first. I've left out anything private. My kids have read every one of these and approved them, except Shannon, who approved them "under protest." |
| Sunday, January 10, 1999 · the kitchen table, supper |
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Me: The spring musical is The Music Man this year. You should try out, honey. Shannon: As if. Me: As if what? Shannon: (silence, mashed potatoes) Darius: Mom. That's the whole thing. "As if." Me: As if what? Words learned: as if. Notes: This is where it all began. I went and got a notebook before dessert. |
| Friday, January 29, 1999 · the car, Shannon and her friend Monica in the back seat |
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Monica: Did you see the sweater he had on today? Shannon: With the moose? Monica: With the moose. That sweater is so wack. Shannon: So wack. It had snow on it. The moose had snow on it. Monica: Wack. Words learned: wack. Notes: They were talking about their science teacher. I didn't say anything, because I own a sweater with a moose on it. It was a gift. It doesn't have snow on it, but it's close. |
| Saturday, February 13, 1999 · through the basement door, Darius and his friend Jorge, video games |
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Jorge: BOOYAH! Darius: No way. No way! Jorge: Booyah! In your face! Darius: I'm getting you back. Watch. Watch. ...BOOYAH! Jorge: Psych, I wasn't even trying. Words learned: booyah, psych. Notes: I stood on the basement stairs with a laundry basket for one hour and counted. "Booyah": 31 times. "Psych": 4. "Mom, can we get pizza": 1. We got pizza. I'm a scientist, not a monster. |
| Tuesday, February 23, 1999 · the kitchen |
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Me: Off the phone, please, it's a school night. Shannon: (holds up one hand, palm out) Talk to the hand. Me: (no response recorded) Words learned: talk to the hand. Notes: One week without the phone. The house was very quiet. I could call my sister any time I wanted. It was the best week of the winter for everybody except Shannon and possibly Monica's mother. |
| Sunday, March 14, 1999 · the car, coming home from Grandma's, Darius driving on his temps |
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Me: Signal. Signal. You need to signal. Darius: I'm signaling. Me: That's the windshield wipers. Darius: Mom. Chill. Me: I'm very chill. Shannon (from the back): She's holding the handle over the door. Words learned: chill (confirmed). Notes: I was holding the handle. I'd like the record to show that I let go of it on the last two miles. Darius passed his driving test in April, on the first try, and he is a very good driver, and I still hold the handle. |
| Saturday, April 24, 1999 · the kitchen, Shannon on the phone with Monica (one side only) |
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Shannon: No way. ... No WAY. ... As if! ... She is so not all that. ... I know. ... I KNOW. ... Don't even go there. ... OK. ... OK, whatever. ... OK, call me back in five minutes. Words learned: all that, don't go there. Notes: They had been on the phone for fifty minutes. They hung up so Monica could eat supper. Monica called back in four minutes. I timed it. Somebody's supper was very short. |
| Friday, May 21, 1999 · the front hall, 11:10 p.m. |
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Me: How was it? Darius: Da bomb. Me: Didn't you see it on Wednesday? Darius: Yeah. It was da bomb on Wednesday too. Me: Is it going to be da bomb next Friday? Darius: Probably. Jorge hasn't seen it yet. Words learned: none new, but I finally understood "da bomb" in a sentence. Notes: The new Star Wars. Twice in three days, and a third time planned. I paid for none of these tickets, and I would like the credit for that. |
| Saturday, June 12, 1999 · Shannon's sleepover, five girls, the family room, 1:45 a.m. |
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Girl #1: Backstreet Boys are so played out. Girl #2: As IF. Girl #3: *NSYNC is way tighter. Girl #2: Don't go there. Shannon: You guys, my mom is on the stairs. MOM. We can SEE you. Words learned: played out. Notes: I was on the stairs to tell them it was time to sleep, and I stayed four minutes longer than I needed to, for science. No winner was declared in the boy band debate. I'm told this argument has no end, like the one about Chris's garage. |
| Saturday, July 24, 1999 · Cedar Point, the exit of the Magnum |
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Darius: That was off the hook! Shannon: I'm never doing that again. Ever. Darius: Again? Shannon: OK, again. That was so tight. Words learned: off the hook (the other meaning), tight. Notes: They rode it four times. Chris rode the carousel and said it was "plenty." I held the bags, the sunglasses, and a stuffed purple dinosaur Darius won for Shannon at the ring toss, which is the nicest thing he did all summer, and which they both deny. |
| Monday, August 16, 1999 · the kitchen, after the phone company left |
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Me: So that's the new line. That phone, upstairs, is Shannon's number. This phone is the house. Shannon: (raises the roof) Darius: (raises the roof) Chris: What are they doing? Me: They're raising the roof. Chris: We're not doing the garage, if that's what this is about. Words learned: raise the roof. Notes: The first time in about three years that both of my children were happy about the same thing at the same time. I'd have bought a second phone line just for the picture, if I'd had the camera out. |
| Thursday, August 26, 1999 · the upstairs hall, back-to-school clothes |
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Shannon: Darius. Is this fly? Darius: It's a'ight. Shannon: Just a'ight? Darius: It's fly. Whatever. It's fly. Words learned: a'ight (all right, but not all the way). Notes: My daughter asked her brother for fashion advice, and he gave it, and nobody slammed a door. I'm writing this one down mostly so I have proof it happened. |
| Sunday, September 12, 1999 · the family room, the Browns' first game back |
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Darius: This is wack. This is so wack. Chris: Word. Shannon: (turns all the way around on the couch) Dad. No. Darius: Dad, you can't. Chris: What? It's a word. Words learned: none. Words lost: Chris's right to say "word," permanently. Notes: The Browns lost to the Steelers, 43 to 0. Chris has been waiting three years for them to come back to Cleveland, and he said it was still one of the best nights he's had in a long time, because they're back, and because his son sat next to him for the whole game, even after it was out of reach. He didn't say that second part. I did. |
| Monday, September 13, 1999 · the kitchen table, supper, tonight |
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Me: (taking the rolls out of the oven, which were black on the bottom) My bad. Shannon: Props, Mom. You used it right. Me: Thank you. Shannon: Don't put that on the web page. Words learned: none. Notes: I put it on the web page. |