Hello from Wes and Sonya

We live in a suburb east of St. Paul with a sleepy old beagle and a back yard that has been waiting a long time for a swing set. Wes teaches eighth-grade science and coaches the junior high cross-country team. I'm a nurse on a pediatric floor, which means I have rocked a great many babies who belonged to other people.

We were married in 1986, and for a lot of years we hoped for a baby the usual way. When that didn't happen, we spent a while being sad about it, and then one Sunday after church we got to talking with Jeff and Kathy Linares, who had just come home from China with their daughter, Amanda. We went home that night and talked until two in the morning. In January of 1996 I made the first phone call.

Our Road So Far

The Paperwork Mountain

The dossier is the stack of papers that goes to China to introduce us. Ours had our birth certificates, our marriage certificate, letters from both our employers, a financial statement, a letter from our doctor saying we're healthy, letters from the police saying we're law-abiding, our home study, a copy of the INS approval, photographs of us and the house, and a letter asking to adopt. Every page had to be notarized, then certified by the state, and then authenticated by the Chinese consulate. If one stamp is wrong, the whole page goes back. Wes made a checklist on the computer with forty-one lines on it. I made a different one on paper. Between the two of us we got it done, and we are still married.

Our Referral

The call came on a Thursday afternoon in August. I was at work, and the agency called Wes at school, and Wes called the nurses' station and couldn't talk, so the unit secretary thought somebody had died. Then we both drove to the agency office and sat in the parking lot for a minute before we went in.

What they give you is a small photograph and a page or two about the baby: when she was born, her height and weight, her health, a few lines from her caregivers. Our daughter was born in January, and she lives in an orphanage in Hunan Province. In her picture she is about seven months old, bundled in about four layers, with very round cheeks and a look on her face like she is not sure about the photographer. Her report says she is healthy, eats well, and likes to be held. Of course she does.

The picture is on the refrigerator under a magnet shaped like a strawberry. We have looked at it roughly ten thousand times. We'll scan it soon and put it up here, I promise. Wes's brother has a scanner at his office and has promised too.

Her Name

Her name will be Erin. We picked it years ago, back when we were hoping the usual way, and it has been waiting for her too.

She already has a name, of course, the one the orphanage gave her, and she's keeping it as her middle name. It belongs to where she came from and we want her to have it. We're told the last part means something close to "bright." We are not going to try to spell it here until we've heard her caregivers say it out loud, because we want to get it right.

The Nursery

It used to be the room where we put things we didn't know what to do with. Now it's pale yellow, with a white crib from Wes's parents and the rocking chair that used to be my grandmother's. My mother made a quilt in red and gold, which she tells me are lucky colors in China. There's a shelf of picture books, a stack of very small sweaters from my coworkers, and a mobile of felt stars that Wes hung, moved, and hung again. The closet is full of clothes in three sizes, since nobody can tell us exactly how big she'll be.

Advice from Families Who Went Before

Kathy and Jeff Linares, and the other families our agency put us in touch with, have been wonderful. Here's what they told us, for anyone coming along behind:

• Pack less for yourself and more for her. You'll wear the same three outfits for two weeks and won't care.
• Bring a soft baby carrier. Your arms will thank you.
• Bring the things that travel well: rice cereal, some formula, Cheerios, a bottle or two, a baby thermometer, and medicine for a cold, just in case.
• Don't expect smiles right away. She is leaving everyone and everything she knows. It may take her a while to trust you, and that's all right.
• Bring small gifts for her caregivers, and say thank you.
• Write everything down. Every name, every place, every little thing. Someday she'll ask.
• Bring your patience. The paperwork isn't done when you get there. It's just in a new place.

The Trip

We're traveling with a group of eleven families from our agency, and we've met most of them now at the pre-travel meeting. Ruben and Susan Rosson drove up from Iowa for it, and they are bringing home a little girl from the same orphanage. Our daughters are a week apart in age. We plan to keep them in touch for the rest of their lives, whether they like it or not.

• Thursday, October 9: Fly out of Minneapolis. A long, long day of airplanes.
• Friday, October 10: Land in Beijing that evening (we lose a day crossing the date line).
• Saturday and Sunday: Beijing. The Great Wall and the Forbidden City, if our nerves let us.
• Monday, October 13: Fly to Hunan. We meet our daughter.
• About a week in Hunan for the adoption itself: the registration, the notary, and her passport.
• Then Guangzhou, where she has her medical exam and the U.S. consulate issues her visa to come home.
• Home about two weeks after we left. Grandparents, please do not bring balloons to the airport. She will have had a very long trip.