GeoCities.us GeoCities.us » Wellesley » Library Get your FREE home page!

RENEWED
a librarian's breast cancer story, filed on cards

616.99449
LIN      Satterwhite, Margaret, 1947-
         Renewed : a librarian's breast cancer story / by Peg Satterwhite. -- Duluth, Minn. : Home page on GeoCities.us, 1998-1999.

         1. Breast--Cancer--Patients--Personal narratives. 2. Survivors. 3. Hope. I. Title.

That's how I'd catalog this page, anyway. I'm Peg Satterwhite. I've been the librarian at a middle school in Duluth, Minnesota, for twenty-two years, and in January 1997 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm 52 now, and as of this month I've been cancer-free for two and a half years. The title is a library joke: when your book is due, you can renew it and keep it a while longer. That's how I feel about my life.

I've put my story on cards, the way I think. Read them in order or pull out the one you need. I've also put together a reading shelf of the books that helped me.

I'm not a doctor. Everyone's cancer is different. Please take your questions to your own medical team.

( o )

CARD 1. HOW IT WAS FOUND

I didn't feel a thing. It was a routine mammogram, the kind I almost canceled because it was the week of the book fair. The radiologist wanted more pictures, then a biopsy, and the phone call came on a Thursday afternoon in January while I was shelving a cart of returns.

So here's my one piece of preaching for the whole page: talk to your doctor about mammograms and don't skip them. The American Cancer Society says women 40 and over should have one every year. Mine found a lump too small to feel, and I'm sure that's a large part of why I'm here writing this.

( o )

CARD 2. TREATMENT, 1997
FebruaryLumpectomy, and they took some lymph nodes under my arm to check. One had cancer in it, so chemotherapy was next.
March to MayFour rounds of chemo, three weeks apart. My hair came out in the third week, all at once, in the shower. The anti-nausea medicine they have now is far better than what my aunt had in the seventies, though I still can't look at a saltine.
June to AugustRadiation, every weekday for six and a half weeks. Fifteen minutes a day on the table and forty minutes in the car each way. I listened to the whole Anne of Green Gables series on tape.
September onTamoxifen, a pill I'll take every day for five years to lower the chance of the cancer coming back. Hot flashes, which at my age are hard to blame on anything in particular.

I went back to school in September 1997 in a short gray wig the kids nicknamed "the Dewey," because it was so well organized.

( o )

CARD 3. WHAT HELPED
  • A notebook. I'm a librarian. I wrote down every question, every answer and every name. My husband Arne came to every appointment and took his own notes, and afterward we compared.
  • A Reach to Recovery volunteer. The American Cancer Society sent a woman who'd had breast cancer eleven years before to visit me after surgery. She sat on my hospital bed and showed me she was fine. I have never forgotten her.
  • Look Good...Feel Better. A free class where volunteers teach women in treatment about makeup, wigs and scarves. It sounds silly. It isn't. I laughed for the first time in weeks.
  • My support group, which still meets the first Monday of the month at the hospital. We started with eleven women and now there are twenty-six of us.
  • My students. A seventh grader made me a bookmark every week I was out. I have sixteen of them.
( o )

CARD 4. IF YOU'VE JUST BEEN DIAGNOSED
  • Take a breath. You usually have time to learn and ask questions before deciding anything. Ask your doctor how much time.
  • It's all right to get a second opinion. Good doctors expect it.
  • Bring someone to your appointments.
  • Be careful what you read, online especially. Some of it is old, some of it is wrong, and none of it is about you specifically. Take it to your doctor.
  • Groups that helped me find information and people: the American Cancer Society, Y-ME National Breast Cancer Organization, the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, and the National Cancer Institute's Cancer Information Service. All of them have free booklets.
  • And write to me if you'd like. I remember how that first week felt.
( o )

CARD 5. NOW

My hair came back curly, which nobody warned me about, and gray, which I had been hiding for years anyway. I see my oncologist every six months and have a mammogram every year, and I hold my breath every time until the results come. That part doesn't go away. But I walked in my first Race for the Cure last fall with Arne and our daughter Kirsten, and this spring I became a Reach to Recovery volunteer myself. Last month I sat on a hospital bed and showed a frightened young mother that I'm fine.

The book is due someday for all of us. I've renewed mine. I intend to keep renewing it.

( o )

Open book
Write to me: [email protected]
Visit the reading shelf


Circulation count:
015982
readers since October 1998
Last updated 9/14/99
© 1999 Margaret Satterwhite