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Road barricade  NO JAR JAR ZONE  Road barricade
a public service of SITH HAPPENS

WARNING: This zone contains strong opinions about a Gungan. If you are a Jar Jar fan, you can still come in, but you have to wipe your feet and you can't touch anything.

First, the fair part, because my dad says if you're going to make a hate page you should at least be fair.

It is not the actor's fault. Jar Jar was done by Ahmed Best, who did the voice and did all the moves in a special suit so the computer guys could copy him. That is actually a really hard job and he did it well. It's the character I have a problem with. The character is like having a little brother who follows you around a museum knocking things over.

THE CRIMES OF JAR JAR BINKS

Crime #1. Sticks his tongue out across the dinner table at Anakin's house to grab food. Qui-Gon has to grab his tongue. At the dinner table. In front of Anakin's MOM.

Crime #2. Steals food off a stand in Mos Espa with that same tongue and nearly gets everybody beat up by Sebulba. Stop using your tongue for things!!

Crime #3. Sticks his hand in the glowing part between Anakin's podracer engines. Right after being told it's dangerous. Then his hand goes numb and he flops around.

Crime #4. Gets made a GENERAL. Of an army. Then wins half the battle by tripping over things.

Crime #5. Talks. Constantly. Meanwhile Darth Maul, a professional, says almost nothing. Coincidence? I think not.

WHEN TO GO GET POPCORN
If you're going to see it again (you should, for Maul), here's my advice from seven viewings:
  • The underwater city part. Pretty to look at. Lots of Jar Jar. Go now.
  • The Mos Espa market. Line might be long at the snack bar. Plan ahead.
  • The battle on the grass fields. Tricky. Jar Jar is in it but so is good stuff. Take a bathroom break during the part with the big Gungan shields and come back fast.
  • NEVER leave during the generator room. If you miss Duel of the Fates for popcorn you have nobody to blame but yourself.

JAR JAR VS. MAUL: TALE OF THE TAPE
 MAULJAR JAR
Weapondouble-bladed lightsaberhis tongue
Words spokenhardly anyALL OF THEM
Scary?veryonly to my ears
RankSith Lordgeneral (somehow)
Cool factor10 / 10my 6-year-old cousin says 10. I say 2.

DEFENSE CORNER: My cousin Lucas is 6 and he thinks Jar Jar is the best thing in the whole movie. He does the walk. He does the ears with his hands. So maybe Jar Jar is just for little kids, and that's okay. Little kids need a Star Wars guy too. I'm just saying they didn't need to give him that much screen time when there was a Sith Lord standing right there waiting.

 

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Zone last updated September 12, 1999