FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: The Forward to End All Forwards - Message |
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| From: |
Adam Ratcliff <[email protected]> |
| Sent: |
Monday, August 30, 1999 6:52 AM |
| To: |
Everyone You Have Ever Met |
| Cc: |
Their Mothers; Their Mothers' Bridge Club |
| Subject: |
FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: The Forward to End All Forwards!!!! PLEASE READ!!!!! this is NOT a joke |
Hi everybody,
I don't usually send these. You know me. But this one came to me from a friend of a friend of a lady at my aunt's church, and I read it all the way through, and then I sat very still for a while.
Please read all the way to the bottom. ALL the way. Even past the part where it looks like it's over.
Adam
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Dot
> Sent: Sunday, August 29, 1999 11:58 PM
> To: Prayer Chain; Bowling (Tues); Bowling (Thurs); Ed
> Subject: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:
>
> I don't know if this is true but why take chances!!!! Ed checked it with a man at the phone company. Love, Dot
>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Ed
>> To: EVERYBODY IN MY BOOK
>>
>> Sorry if you get this twice. Or three times. I pushed the button again to be safe.
>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Judy
>>>
>>> THIS ONE REALLY WORKS. I sent it on a Tuesday and by Wednesday my sister's bunion was gone. GONE.
>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: sunnyside_gal
>>>>
>>>> pls read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>>>
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
>>>>> ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
>>>>> THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE CHAIN LETTERS!!!!!
>>>>> It is a chain E-MAIL, which is completely different, because it is on the computer.
>>>>> ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
>>>>>
>>>>> DO NOT DELETE THIS!!! It takes two (2) minutes to read and it WILL change your life, or at least the rest of your afternoon.
>>>>>
>>>>> This message was started in 1954 by a lighthouse keeper in Nova Scotia who had a great deal of free time. By last count it has circled the globe nine times. Ten, if you count the time it went to Canada twice because somebody in Buffalo hit Reply All.
>>>>>
>>>>> The good luck of this e-mail has now been sent to YOU. To keep it, all you have to do is forward it to TEN (10) people within SEVEN (7) MINUTES of reading this sentence. The clock started at the word "sentence." It's all right. You still have time. Keep reading, but faster.
>>>>>
>>>>> Before you go one line further, MAKE A WISH. Don't say it out loud. Don't type it. The computer can tell.
>>>>>
>>>>> ~*~ THOSE WHO KEPT THE CHAIN ~*~
>>>>>
>>>>> * Harriet Cochran of Tulsa, Oklahoma, forwarded it to twelve people. The next morning she found a twenty-dollar bill in the pocket of a coat she does not remember buying. It is nicer than any of her coats.
>>>>>
>>>>> * James Hooks, 61, of Lubbock, Texas, sent it to forty people, and his lawn mower started on the first pull. He says this never happened before, not even when the mower was new.
>>>>>
>>>>> * A dentist in Boise forwarded it to his whole waiting room. That afternoon every single one of his patients had really been flossing. He had to go sit in his car for a while.
>>>>>
>>>>> * Teddy Sato, a college sophomore, forwarded it during finals week and got an A in a class he was not enrolled in. The registrar's office will not comment.
>>>>>
>>>>> * A woman in Vermont forwarded it from work, and the copier did not jam ONCE, ALL DAY.
>>>>>
>>>>> ~*~ THOSE WHO BROKE IT ~*~
>>>>>
>>>>> * A man in Duluth ignored it. Three days later his toaster unionized. It now works nine to five only and takes a fifteen-minute break between bagels.
>>>>>
>>>>> * Gerald Bivens of Akron, Ohio, said "this is dumb" out loud and deleted it. For six straight days, every song on the radio was one he ALMOST knew the name of.
>>>>>
>>>>> * Christopher Maisonet printed it out and used it as a coaster. His coffee has been lukewarm ever since. Not cold. Lukewarm. Every cup.
>>>>>
>>>>> * A lady in Phoenix forwarded it to NINE people instead of ten. Her socks have not matched since that afternoon. Not even the new ones. She checked at the store.
>>>>>
>>>>> * Ricky Isham forwarded it but took out the part about the toaster to save room. Since then, every traffic light he comes to turns yellow just as he gets there. Not red. Yellow. He has to DECIDE. Every time.
>>>>>
>>>>> * David Foye of Omaha sent it to his whole address book except his brother-in-law. His brother-in-law came for the weekend. That was in June.
>>>>>
>>>>> THIS IS ALL TRUE. It has been CONFIRMED by:
>>>>> - The National Institute of Electronic Mail (Duluth office)
>>>>> - A man at the phone company
>>>>> - My cousin's roommate, who is in law school
>>>>> - It was on the news. Which news? THE NEWS.
>>>>> - The computer, which did not say it wasn't.
>>>>>
>>>>> YOU NOW HAVE FIVE (5) MINUTES.
>>>>>
>>>>> ~*~ ALSO!!! ~*~
>>>>> Every time this message is forwarded, a large company (they asked us not to say which one) will donate ONE CENT to help Dylan, age 7, of Ohio, finish his model of the Eiffel Tower made entirely out of toothpicks. He has reached the second floor. He needs 40,000 more toothpicks. The company has a computer that counts. Do it for Dylan.
>>>>>
>>>>> ~*~ AND!!! VIRUS ALERT!!! ~*~
>>>>> If you get an e-mail called "A Little Something For You," DO NOT OPEN IT!!! It will erase your hard drive, scramble your recipes, set every clock in the house to 12:00, and sign you up for a magazine about boats. The National Institute of Electronic Mail says it is the worst one they have ever seen, and they have seen a LOT. Warn everyone you know. (That's forwarding. It counts toward your ten.)
>>>>>
>>>>> ~*~ PLUS: THE NICKEL LIST ~*~
>>>>> Send ONE (1) NICKEL to the name at number 1. Cross it off. Move everybody up. Put YOUR name at number 5 and send this to five friends. In six weeks you will get 15,625 nickels. That is $781.25 in nickels, so bring a wagon.
>>>>> 1. Somebody in Duluth (not the toaster man)
>>>>> 2. The lighthouse keeper's nephew
>>>>> 3. Ed
>>>>> 4. Dot
>>>>> 5. __________ (YOU!!!)
>>>>>
>>>>> ~*~ AND SIGN THE PETITION ~*~
>>>>> Add your name and town at the bottom. When this reaches 1,000 names, somebody will print it out and take it to CONGRESS, and then Congress will HAVE to do something. About what? It doesn't matter. SOMETHING.
>>>>> 1. M.K., Toledo
>>>>> 2. The Tuesday quilt group, all 9 of us
>>>>> 3. Dot
>>>>> 4. ok
>>>>> 5. ok
>>>>> 6. Judy's sister (bunion GONE!!!)
>>>>> 7. keep it going!!!!
>>>>>
>>>>> Now SCROLL DOWN to see if your wish will come true.
>>>>> .
>>>>> .
>>>>> .
>>>>> keep going
>>>>> .
>>>>> .
>>>>> .
>>>>> don't peek
>>>>> .
>>>>> .
>>>>> .
>>>>> almost
>>>>> .
>>>>> .
>>>>> .
>>>>> YOU HAVE ONE (1) MINUTE LEFT.
>>>>> .
>>>>> .
>>>>> .
OK. Stop.
It's me. Adam. Same Adam from the top.
I wrote this whole thing, every word, on a Tuesday night at my kitchen table in Milwaukee, with a bowl of cereal. I typed every one of those arrows myself. There is no lighthouse keeper in Nova Scotia. There is no National Institute of Electronic Mail, in Duluth or anywhere else. No company is counting anything. Nobody's going to Congress. Dylan isn't building a tower, and if he were, I'd mail him the toothpicks myself. The toaster in Duluth is fine.
Nothing is going to happen to you if you don't send this on. Nothing is going to happen to you if you do, either, except that it will come back to you in about a week with nine more FW:'s on it and a note from my Aunt Loretta.
So here is the one instruction in this whole letter that I mean:
FORWARD THIS TO NO ONE.
Not ten people. Not one. Close the window. And if you have any time left over out of your seven minutes, call somebody you were going to forward something to, and just talk to them for a while.
That's the luck. As far as I can tell, it's all the luck there ever was in one of these.
--
Adam Ratcliff
Milwaukee, Wis.
"I write junk mail for a living so you don't have to."
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