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At the bottom of the letter I asked people to forward it to no one, and then write and tell me what happened. Here's what's come in so far, printed with permission, first names and towns only. (I also asked for the dooms to stay small. Everybody did. You people are the best.)
Click a message to read it.
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From: Vivian, Lansing, Mich.
Subject: nothing happened (something happened)
I forwarded it to nobody, like you said. About twenty minutes later my phone rang, and it was my sister in Kalamazoo, who I hadn't talked to since Easter. She hadn't gotten anything from anybody. She just called. We talked for an hour and ten minutes. I'm not saying. I'm just saying.
Adam: This is the best one I got, and it came in the first day. I almost took the page down right there.
From: Lawrence, Bakersfield, Calif.
Subject: Re: toaster
Didn't forward it. Toaster's fine. But the coffee maker filed a grievance, and the blender says it's thinking about it.
From: Roger, Kenosha, Wis.
Subject: the cat did it
I did not forward it. That night my cat walked across the keyboard and sent it to 31 people anyway. Does that count? Because the cat has been in a fantastic mood ever since.
Adam: It counts for the cat.
From: Melissa, Columbus, Ohio
Subject: deleted in under 7 min.
Deleted it in under seven minutes, just to see. Nothing happened. I have never been so relieved for nothing to happen. I also never made a wish, and I'm sorry to report I was holding my breath for the scroll part anyway.
From: Iris, Asheville, N.C.
Subject: parking ticket
Didn't forward it. Came out of the post office and there was a parking ticket on my windshield. Then I read the ticket and it was for the car in front of me. The officer came back and apologized and moved it. I'm calling it a draw.
From: Philip, Ames, Iowa
Subject: breakfast report
I read your letter out loud to my wife at breakfast. She laughed at the toaster. Then she got up and unplugged ours. "Just to be safe," she said. We had cereal.
From: Gail, Albuquerque, N.M.
Subject: FW: (on paper)
I work in an elementary school office. I printed your letter and pinned it to the bulletin board in the teachers' lounge, as a public service. By Friday four teachers had taken it down, made copies on the office machine and put them in each other's mailboxes. It's a paper chain letter now. You've gone backwards in time.
Adam: Frances Kimball would be proud. I think.
From: Woodrow, Shreveport, La.
Subject: Your letter
Young man,
I am seventy-four years old and I have never forwarded anything in my life. I did not forward this either. My grandson set up my computer and he tells me I am "already compliant." I don't know what that means, but I'm told it's good.
Yours truly, Woodrow
Adam: Sir, it is very good. Please never change.
From: Elizabeth, Portland, Maine
Subject: the other glove
Forwarded it to zero people. Forty-five minutes later I was looking for a pen in the hall closet and found my other glove. The one from last winter. The one I bought a whole new pair to replace. So now I have three gloves, which is either very lucky or a whole new problem.
From: Lonnie, Rapid City, S.D.
Subject: my mother
My mother sent me your letter with a note on top: "This one looks important." She'd read it all the way to the bottom. I called her and asked about the part where it says it's a joke and to forward it to no one. She said, "Well, I know, honey. But just in case."
Adam: Lonnie, I think your mother and my Aunt Loretta are the same person.
THE AUNTS: A STATUS REPORT
The whole point, really. Forwards received from each aunt per weekday, my count, before the letter (two weeks in August) and after (two weeks in September).
| Aunt | Before | After | What happened |
| Betty | 9 | 8 | Read it, laughed, and sent it back to me asking if I'd seen it. |
| Loretta | 11 | 12 | Forwarded it to forty people, "just in case." Up one a day since. I'm counting this as a loss. |
| Jo | 4 | 2 | Called me on the phone instead. Fifty-two minutes. Best result yet. |
| Edith | 6 | 4 | Printed it and mailed it, with a stamp, to her sister-in-law in Green Bay. Gail, you're not alone. |
| Total | 30 | 26 | Down four a day. In advertising we'd call that a 13 percent drop in volume and put it on a slide. |
Have a report? Didn't forward it and something small and strange happened, or nothing happened at all? Write me at [email protected]. Replies only. If you forward me a forward, Aunt Loretta gets your address.
< Back to the letter | Anatomy of a Forward
Last updated Saturday, September 25, 1999
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