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| TED: Hello. I'm Ted. I fixed buses in Newark for thirty-four years and retired in March, and my son Andrew got us this computer so I would "have a project." This is the project. Della and I have been telling these stories at every christening, wedding and Thanksgiving since 1964, and she has been getting them wrong the whole time. Now you can see for yourself. | DELLA: Hello, I'm Della, I cooked in the cafeteria at the elementary school for twenty-two years, and I retired last June, so I have had a year's head start on him. We live down the Shore now. Ted is the one who wanted to do this page. I said fine, but I get my own column. Everything in my column is true. You'll notice he didn't say that about his. |
| HE SAID | SHE SAID |
| October 1962. I was nineteen and pumping gas at my uncle's station. I walked into the parish hall, saw her by the punch bowl, and said to my buddy, "That's the girl I'm going to marry." Then I walked straight over and asked her to dance. The band was playing "Sherry." She said yes right away. I knew what I wanted and I went and got it. That's the whole story. | It was November. He did not walk straight over. He walked over and turned around twice and walked over a third time, and I know this because my sister Selma was standing next to me counting out loud. It was a slow song, not "Sherry," and he stepped on my foot in the first minute. I said yes because Selma gave me a push. Also, I was twenty-one, and he didn't find out I was older until we'd been going together two months. |
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Readers' votes: Ted 31 · Della 88 The kids rule: Donna: "Mom. Aunt Selma still does the counting at Christmas." Joel: "Dad. Nobody in this family has ever known what month anything happened." Andrew: "They're both right. They danced twice." | |
| HE SAID | SHE SAID |
| Day after the wedding, driving up to the Poconos in my '57 Chevy, we pick up a nail. Right front. I pull over, jack it up, spare on, lug nuts tight, back on the road in eleven minutes. I'm a mechanic. She held the flashlight. It was a very romantic moment and she said she'd never felt so safe. | He wasn't a mechanic yet, he was a gas station attendant. It was raining. There was no jack in the trunk, because my brother Craig had borrowed it in May and never brought it back. We sat on the shoulder for an hour and a half until a milk truck stopped and the driver lent us his. Teddy changed the tire in the rain in his good pants, and it took forty minutes. And I didn't hold any flashlight. It was two o'clock in the afternoon. |
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Readers' votes: Ted 12 · Della 104 The kids rule: Donna: "Mom. Uncle Craig confessed about the jack at Thanksgiving in 1987." Joel: "Mom on the details, but Dad still changed it, so on the important part it's a tie." Andrew: "I asked Uncle Craig last week. He says he gave the jack back in July." | |
| HE SAID | SHE SAID |
| Best vacation we ever took. Fresh air, the woods, the three kids. I bought a tent at the Army-Navy store and it held up great. I built a fire with one match, the way my father showed me. On the second night we saw a bear at the edge of the campsite. The kids still talk about it. | It rained for four days out of five. The tent held up great because after the first night it was folded up in the back of the car. The first night it filled up like a swimming pool. We slept the other nights in the station wagon, five of us, and Andrew was two and kicked. The fire took a whole box of matches and the newspaper I was reading. The bear was a dog. It had a collar. The kids still talk about it because they were wet for a week. |
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Readers' votes: Ted 9 · Della 97 The kids rule: Donna (age 5 at the time): "I remember the station wagon. I don't remember any tent." Joel (age 3): "I remember a bear." Andrew (age 2): "I don't remember any of it, but I'm going with Mom, because I know I kicked." | |
| HE SAID | SHE SAID |
| Bicentennial summer. We got the new refrigerator in Harvest Gold and I painted the kitchen to match, myself, in one weekend. Two coats. Nice warm color. It looked like a magazine. Saved us a hundred dollars on a painter, at least. | It was five weekends. The color on the paint can said Harvest Gold. The color on the wall was mustard. Not a nice mustard. Mustard on a hot dog at a ballgame. It did not match the refrigerator. It did not match anything God ever made. He also painted the clock, both light switches, and a little bit of the cat. We lived with it for nine years. It's white now. |
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Readers' votes: Ted 6 · Della 115 The kids rule: Donna: "Mustard." Joel: "Mustard." Andrew: "I'm on Dad's side, it was beautiful. Also, I was seven, and I'm the one who painted the cat. Sorry, Mom." | |
| HE SAID | SHE SAID |
| I get off the bus at our corner one night and there's this little brown mutt. I didn't encourage him. I didn't call him. He just followed me the two blocks home and sat down on the step. What was I supposed to do, leave him out there? We called him Rusty and he was the best dog we ever had. | He gave that dog half his sandwich at the bus stop every night for two weeks. He named him Rusty before he ever brought him home, because I heard him say it on the step. And when that dog "followed him home," it was wearing a red collar. A dog does not follow you home in a collar you bought him at the hardware store on Tuesday. I found the receipt. Rusty was the best dog we ever had. That part is true. |
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Readers' votes: Ted 44 · Della 79 The kids rule: Donna: "Mom, obviously." Joel: "Mom. I'm the one who showed her the receipt. Sorry, Dad." Andrew: "Dad. Rusty would have followed him home anyway. Some dogs know." | |
| HE SAID | SHE SAID |
| There was construction at the entrance and the signs were confusing. I took a slightly longer route. We got a beautiful view of the George Washington Bridge on a clear day, which some people pay money for, and we got to Selma's in plenty of time. It was not a wrong turn. It was a scenic route. | Cherry Hill is south. He got on the Turnpike going north. I said, "Teddy, that sign says New York." He said, "They all say New York." We didn't just see the George Washington Bridge, we drove over it, and paid the toll to get into New York, and turned around in a gas station in Manhattan, and came right back over. We got to Selma's at four-fifteen. They had started without us. The turkey was a carcass. |
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Readers' votes: Ted 3 · Della 121 The kids rule: Donna (12, back seat): "Mom. I read the New York sign out loud too." Joel: "Dad's right that the bridge looked great." Andrew: "I slept through it. I vote turkey." | |
| Story | TED | DELLA |
| How We Met | 31 | 88 |
| The Flat Tire | 12 | 104 |
| Camping | 9 | 97 |
| The Kitchen | 6 | 115 |
| The Dog | 44 | 79 |
| The Wrong Turn | 3 | 121 |
| Total | 105 | 604 |
| TED: I would like it noted that the votes come in by e-mail and Della is the one who opens the e-mail. | DELLA: I would like it noted that he doesn't know how to open the e-mail. |
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A few of the letters we've gotten: "Ted, every man who ever painted a kitchen says it took one weekend. My husband said it about our bathroom in 1981." — Geneva Goodale "I'm voting for Ted on the dog. A man who buys the collar first is a man who already loves the dog. That's not lying, that's planning." — Felix Funderburg "My parents have the same argument about a wedding in 1959, and I've decided the arguing is the love part." — Melissa Blakley "Della, I'm a retired school cook too. You are right about everything. We always are." — Jackie Warren "I drove a bus out of Newark for twenty years. Ted, I believe you about the signs." — Leland Zeller |
