Welcome to the official home of the Back Forty: ten teams, one trophy, and more trash talk than a parts counter can hold. I'm Billy Willman, the Commish. I'm the parts manager at an implement dealer up here in northwest Iowa, and most of this league either works with me or bowls with me on Thursday nights. I score every game by hand from the box scores in Monday's paper (Tuesday's paper for the Monday night game), and I put it all up here so I can quit answering the phone about it.

A printout goes up on the bulletin board in the break room every Tuesday for those of you who still don't have a computer. You know who you are, Stan.

WEEK 9 IS IN. Tim's Twisters put up 74, the high score of the year. The Bottom Liners beat the Augers and stay in first, and Alan has now lost three straight and is not taking calls. NEXT WEEK: The Commish vs. the Bookkeeper. Back Order Bandits vs. Bottom Liners, first place on the line. Week 10 results up Tuesday, November 5, right after I go vote.

PF = points for, PA = points against. Ties in the standings go to the team with more points for. Top four make the playoffs after Week 13.
High score so far: Tim's Twisters, 74 (Week 9). Low score: Grease Monkeys, 18 (Week 3). Joe would like everybody to stop bringing that up.

W = win, L = loss, teams in standings order. The Bandits have won four straight. Not that anybody's counting. I'm counting.

Week 9 (Oct. 27-28)
Back Order Bandits 60, Rust Buckets 42
Bottom Liners 64, Alan's Augers 45
Tim's Twisters 74, Seven-Ten Splits 51
Hay Fever 57, Corn Belt Crushers 39
Grease Monkeys 46, Stan's Steamrollers 40

Week 8 (Oct. 20-21)
Back Order Bandits 49, Alan's Augers 27
Seven-Ten Splits 33, Rust Buckets 32
Bottom Liners 44, Hay Fever 31
Tim's Twisters 63, Stan's Steamrollers 40
Corn Belt Crushers 46, Grease Monkeys 27

Week 7 (Oct. 13-14)
Back Order Bandits 64, Seven-Ten Splits 44
Hay Fever 52, Alan's Augers 45
Stan's Steamrollers 40, Rust Buckets 29
Grease Monkeys 56, Bottom Liners 42
Corn Belt Crushers 69, Tim's Twisters 38

Week 6 (Oct. 6-7)
Back Order Bandits 60, Hay Fever 50
Seven-Ten Splits 61, Stan's Steamrollers 45
Alan's Augers 41, Grease Monkeys 31
Corn Belt Crushers 46, Rust Buckets 27
Bottom Liners 63, Tim's Twisters 36

Week 5 (Sept. 29-30)
Stan's Steamrollers 68, Back Order Bandits 46
Hay Fever 60, Grease Monkeys 43
Corn Belt Crushers 58, Seven-Ten Splits 43
Alan's Augers 71, Tim's Twisters 51
Bottom Liners 52, Rust Buckets 40

Week 4 (Sept. 22-23)
Back Order Bandits 45, Grease Monkeys 30
Stan's Steamrollers 64, Corn Belt Crushers 44
Hay Fever 37, Tim's Twisters 31
Bottom Liners 57, Seven-Ten Splits 46
Alan's Augers 44, Rust Buckets 34

Week 3 (Sept. 15-16)
Corn Belt Crushers 52, Back Order Bandits 50
Tim's Twisters 69, Grease Monkeys 18
Stan's Steamrollers 53, Bottom Liners 47
Rust Buckets 40, Hay Fever 33
Alan's Augers 29, Seven-Ten Splits 27

Week 2 (Sept. 8-9)
Back Order Bandits 54, Tim's Twisters 52
Bottom Liners 36, Corn Belt Crushers 33
Rust Buckets 42, Grease Monkeys 35
Alan's Augers 60, Stan's Steamrollers 50
Seven-Ten Splits 44, Hay Fever 40

Week 1 (Sept. 1-2)
Bottom Liners 39, Back Order Bandits 38
Tim's Twisters 39, Rust Buckets 38
Corn Belt Crushers 55, Alan's Augers 47
Seven-Ten Splits 48, Grease Monkeys 40
Stan's Steamrollers 69, Hay Fever 42

• Back Order Bandits: Billy, the Commish. Parts manager. Has never once had a part on back order that wasn't somebody else's fault.
• Bottom Liners: Vi, our bookkeeper, who joined because she was tired of hearing us talk about it and is now beating all of us. She drafted by reading a preview magazine on her lunch breaks. It is working.
• Corn Belt Crushers: Carl, my bowling partner. Drives the feed truck. Went heavy on rookies and won't shut up about it.
• Stan's Steamrollers: Stan, the oldest man in the league, retired from the shop two years ago and still comes in for coffee. No computer. Gets his results off the break room board.
• Alan's Augers: Alan, our service manager. Cowboys fan. Drafted half the Cowboys. Wonders why his team goes up and down with theirs.
• Tim's Twisters: Tim, in sales. Would trade his own mother for a kicker. See TRADES.
• Hay Fever: Jim, also in sales, allergic to everything that grows, works at a farm dealership anyway.
• Seven-Ten Splits: Fonz (Alphonso), from Thursday bowling. Carries a 181 average and a grudge against the Packers.
• Grease Monkeys: Joe, mechanic in our shop. Patriots fan from back when they were bad. Very patient.
• Rust Buckets: Russ, the kid on the parts counter. Youngest owner at 25. First year in the league.

Tuesday, September 17: Seven-Ten Splits send Chris Warren (Seahawks) to Hay Fever for Thurman Thomas (Bills).

Tuesday, October 1: Grease Monkeys send Morten Andersen (Falcons) to the Corn Belt Crushers for Adam Vinatieri (Patriots). Joe wanted a Patriot. Joe always wants a Patriot.

Tuesday, October 15: Rust Buckets send Barry Sanders (Lions) and Jerry Rice (49ers) to Tim's Twisters for Rashaan Salaam (Bears) and Brett Perriman (Lions). See the Commish Ruling of October 22.

September 3. Everybody starts all eight players every week. No bench. If your man has a bye, you take the zero. The NFL prints the schedule; read it.

September 10. Jim called his lineup change in Sunday at 11:50 in the morning. Lineups are due Saturday at 6 p.m., by phone or at the counter. Jim played last week's lineup. Jim lost by 4. Jim, I'm sorry.

September 24. Yes, a punt or kickoff returned for a touchdown counts for that team's defense. Special teams are part of the D in this league. See the rules.

October 8. Box scores in the paper are final. If the paper's wrong, the paper's wrong, and it's wrong for everybody. I'm not calling Des Moines about it.

October 15. Fonz asked what happens with Robert Brooks, who got hurt Monday night and is out for the year. Free agent pickups are allowed: one a week, free, called in by Saturday at 6 like a lineup. Fonz picked up Anthony Miller (Broncos). Anybody can pick up anybody nobody else has. The list of who's left is on the board.

October 22. The Rust Buckets-Twisters trade STANDS. Stan and Alan both called me about it, Stan twice. I understand. But there is nothing in our rules against it, both owners agreed to it, and the Commish doesn't overturn trades between grown men. If we want a trade rule for next year, we'll vote on one at the banquet in January. Until then, play your games.