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How I Rate 'Em

CAN THE KIDS WATCH IT? My straight answer, with an age, and what's in it that you'd want to know about ahead of time. I don't count every cuss word the way some folks do. I tell you whether there are a few or a bunch.

DID DAD LIKE IT? One to four popcorn buckets. These two answers are not always the same. Plenty of movies are fine for the kids and put me to sleep, and I'll say so.

Newest reviews on top. We see most things on a Saturday afternoon, so these are matinee opinions, and I paid for every ticket.


The Iron Giant  (PG)
seen August 1999, the whole family

CAN THE KIDS WATCH IT? Yes, seven and up. A few mild words. Some scary stuff with the Army near the end. And one quiet scene where the boy and the Giant find a deer that hunters have shot. It's how the movie talks about dying, and Davon had questions all the way home. Good questions. Be ready for them.

DID DAD LIKE IT? popcornpopcornpopcornpopcorn Four buckets.

It's the fall of 1957 in a little town in Maine, right after Sputnik went up, and a boy named Hogarth finds a giant robot from outer space in the woods. The Giant eats metal, cars and railroad track and so on, and he's about as dangerous as a big friendly dog, right up until somebody points a gun at him. A government man comes to town snooping, and a beatnik who runs the junkyard helps Hogarth hide him. Jennifer Aniston does the mom's voice, Harry Connick Jr. is the junkyard fellow, and Vin Diesel is the Giant. It was directed by Brad Bird and based on a book by Ted Hughes, the English poet.

They even show a duck-and-cover film in Hogarth's classroom. I did those drills under my desk in grade school, and I laughed out loud, and then I didn't. The ending had Elaine going through her purse for a Kleenex, and I'll leave it there. Our theater was half empty on a Saturday afternoon, which is a crime. Go see it before it's gone.


Tarzan  (G)
seen June 1999, the whole family plus Grandma

CAN THE KIDS WATCH IT? Yes. But if yours are five or under, keep a lap handy for two scenes. The leopard is flat-out scary, and the leopard is how baby Tarzan loses his parents (you don't see it, but you know). And the bad guy's end comes in one flash of lightning. Little ones may miss it. Chelsea didn't.

DID DAD LIKE IT? popcornpopcornpopcorn Three buckets.

Disney's cartoon version. A gorilla named Kala raises the baby as her own. Glenn Close is her voice, and she about breaks your heart. Rosie O'Donnell is his wisecracking gorilla buddy, and Minnie Driver is Jane, an English girl who comes to the jungle with her father and a hunter who turns out to be no good. Tarzan surfs down the tree branches like a skateboarder, and I'll admit it's something to see on a big screen.

Phil Collins sings most of the songs over the action, instead of the characters stopping to sing them. I thought I'd miss the usual Disney numbers, but I didn't. Grandma bought the soundtrack tape the next day.


October Sky  (PG)
seen February 1999, Elaine, Chelsea and me

CAN THE KIDS WATCH IT? Ten and up. A handful of cuss words, a mine accident that's hard to watch, and a father and son who say some hard things to each other. Nothing I'd call unfit. A lot I'd call worth talking about in the car.

DID DAD LIKE IT? popcornpopcornpopcornpopcorn Four buckets. Best movie I saw this year.

A true story. It's 1957 in Coalwood, West Virginia, a coal town where every boy is expected to go down the mine. Homer Hickam watches Sputnik cross the sky and decides he's going to build rockets instead, with three friends and a lot of blown-up fence posts. His father runs the mine and wants none of it. Jake Gyllenhaal plays Homer, Chris Cooper is his dad, and Laura Dern is the teacher who believes in him. It comes from Homer Hickam's own book, Rocket Boys, and if you mix up the letters in "Rocket Boys" you get "October Sky." Chelsea figured that out on a napkin before the previews were over.

The real Homer Hickam grew up to be an engineer for NASA. Chelsea wants to build a rocket now too. If yours do, Steve's Model Rocketry Page is a good, safe place to start. Steve and his boy do it right.


Coming Attractions

Toy Story 2 is due in November, and it's circled on our kitchen calendar in red. Davon has been counting since July. Review to follow, I promise.

Movies we walked out of this year: one. I won't say which. It was PG-13 and it earned every letter.


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Last updated: Friday, September 24, 1999
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